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Marold Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
The essay - is it well readable to native ear?
The three things I would buy after winning a competition
If we were to win a prize in a competition, we’d have a great deal of things that we’d like to purchase. Nevertheless, the three most remarkable things would be the ones listed below. I find it fairly easy to choose those things.
The first item would be definitely the brand new iPad 2 Wi-fi 16GB. It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it as its advantages are significant from all points of view. The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known when it comes to Apple products. Despite its high price, it’s worth buying it.
As for choosing the second thing and subsequently spending the 500 dollars on it, I drew a conclusion that the most suitable and finest thing could be watches. I am convinced it is one of the very most representative things you can find on human body. As a result of the facts, I’d buy a designer wrist watch.
Finally, let us turn to the third thing on the list. It might appear as the most unuseful one of all things already mentioned; however, it is thought to be very needed for all people in universe. Arcade machine with vintage games! Perhaps you would expect it to have old and uninteresting games, but there is a couple of cult games proven by time.
To sum up, although the odds are rather against us of winning a competition, there would be many things to be bought if we happened to win a great prize.
If we were to win a prize in a competition, we’d have a great deal of things that we’d like to purchase. Nevertheless, the three most remarkable things would be the ones listed below. I find it fairly easy to choose those things.
The first item would be definitely the brand new iPad 2 Wi-fi 16GB. It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it as its advantages are significant from all points of view. The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known when it comes to Apple products. Despite its high price, it’s worth buying it.
As for choosing the second thing and subsequently spending the 500 dollars on it, I drew a conclusion that the most suitable and finest thing could be watches. I am convinced it is one of the very most representative things you can find on human body. As a result of the facts, I’d buy a designer wrist watch.
Finally, let us turn to the third thing on the list. It might appear as the most unuseful one of all things already mentioned; however, it is thought to be very needed for all people in universe. Arcade machine with vintage games! Perhaps you would expect it to have old and uninteresting games, but there is a couple of cult games proven by time.
To sum up, although the odds are rather against us of winning a competition, there would be many things to be bought if we happened to win a great prize.
Top answer
The first item would definitely be the brand new ....... In these 2 sentences, just fill in a comma, as indicated : It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it, as its advantages are significant from all points of view. The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known, when it comes to Apple products.
- The first item would definitely be the brand new .......
- In these 2 sentences, just fill in a comma, as indicated : It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it, as its advantages are significant from all points of view.
- The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known, when it comes to Apple products.
- I am convinced it is one of the most representative things you can attach to your arm.
- It might appear as the most useless one of the three things I'm mentioning; however, in some circles, it is regarded as being necessary for people all over the world: An arcade machine with vintage games!
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2 Answers
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The first item would definitely be the brand new .......
In these 2 sentences, just fill in a comma, as indicated:
It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it, as its advantages are significant from all points of view.
The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known, when it comes to Apple p
In these 2 sentences, just fill in a comma, as indicated:
It seems to me that this new iPad 2 is absolutely awesome and I desire to have it, as its advantages are significant from all points of view.
The most striking feature is its immense memory and the prime quality which is commonly known, when it comes to Apple p
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Hi,
A general suggestion.
The question is about you. Stick to 'I' and avoid 'we'.
If you must refer to other people, say eg 'some people', 'many people'.
Clive
A general suggestion.
The question is about you. Stick to 'I' and avoid 'we'.
If you must refer to other people, say eg 'some people', 'many people'.
Clive
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