The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000

Question

The given bar chart depicts the number of men and women participating in workout centre during the period of 30 years from 1970 to 2000.

Overall, there was a fluctuation in the number of both gender. The quantity of participants of men and women was highest in the same year, in 1995.

To begin with, in 1970, female participants started at 1000 members, 5 years later, this figure doubled. The number of female rose significantly and made a recorded level in both 1985 and 1995 with 2800 people despite some decreases. At the last year of this survey period, this figure dropped by 800 people to exact 2000.

Turning to fellow, there were more men joined fitness club than women at the beginning, with more than 200 people. There was a remarkable plunge by 500 members after an astonishing upsurge to 4000 in 1975. 15 years later, the number of men participants was at the zenith of 5000, however, it suddenly fell incredibly by 4000 people in 2000

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please read my advice. You make the usual vocabulary mistakes.

Wrongly used words:

fluctuation
quantity
figure
upsurge
plunge

The following words are emotionally-charged opinion words. They are not scientific or objective. Avoid such words in Task 1. Use them in Task 2.

remarkable
astonishing
incredibly

The ~~given~~ bar chart depicts the number of men and women were members of ~~participating~~ a fitness ~~workout~~ centre every five years during the period ~~of 30 years~~ from 1970 to 2000.

Overall, there was a fluctuation (wrong word - read my advice. You cannot see fluctuation on a bar chart.) in the number of both gender. (very unnatural, incorrect expression.) The ~~quantity~~ (wrong word. Quantity is not used with people.) number of participants of men and women was highest in the same year, in 1995.

To begin with, in 1970, female membership ~~participants~~ started at 1000 ~~members~~, (comma splice error, Do not connect two sentences with a comma. ) and 5 years later, ~~this figure~~ it (Learn to use pronouns to refer to amounts or values you are writing about) doubled. The number of female (wrong form) rose significantly and reached its highest level, 2800, ~~made a recorded~~ (Wrong expression. All levels are recorded on this chart.) ~~level~~ in both 1985 and 1995 ~~with 2800 people despite some decreases~~. At the last year of this ~~survey~~ (The instructions do not mention a survey.) period, ~~this figure~~ it dropped by 800 people to exact (wrong form ) 2000.

Turning to fellow, (that makes no sense at all.) there were more men joined fitness club (ungrammatical. the verb "joined does not have a subject.) than women at the beginning, with more than 200 (wrong number) people. There was a remarkable plunge (Do not use such words in a math/science context. They are for drama and newspaper reports.) by 500 members after an astonishing upsurge (Do not use such words in a math/science context. They are for drama and newspaper reports.) to 4000 in 1975. 15 (Never begin a sentence with digits.) years later, the number of men participants was at the zenith of 5000, (comma splice error, Do not connect two sentences with a comma. ) however, it suddenly fell incredibly by 4000 people in 2000 (Missing punctuation. Also "in 2000" is not correct. The numbers did not drop in that one year.)

Sample essay:

The key to Task 1 is to describe a figure in mathematical or scientific terms. Do not write opinions, suggestions, conclusions or advice. Your job is to describe dispassionately. You have to report the most important points and perform some comparisons of the details in the data.

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure with all its aspects. Do not report on the information contents. Most of the time you will need more than one sentence. However, this figure is very simple and you can do it in one sentence. Read my advice for the descriptors of bar charts.

The clustered time-series bar chart compares the numbers of men and women who belonged to a fitness center, every five years between 1970 and 2000.

Paragraph 2: Follow the instructions "selecting and reporting the main features". Pick out two or three main points in the figure.

Overall, there were more men than women in four of the seven five-year intervals on the chart. At two of these data points, 1975 and 1995, the difference was particularly significant. Total membership was highest in 1995 and second highest in 1975.

Paragraph 3: Follow the instructions "make comparisons where relevant". Pick out some details and focus on comparing the data values.

In particular, the variation in male memberships was much larger than for the women, ranging from a low of 1000 in 2000 to a high of 5000 in 1995. That is a spread of 4000. In contrast, there were two highs of about 2800 for women, 1985 and 1995, and a low value of 1000 in 1970, a difference of 1800. The gap between male and female memberships also showed a wide range. In 1990, it was the smallest, with just over 2000 from each group. The gap was largest in 1975, when there were twice as many men as women were in a fitness program. In terms of total membership, it was around 3000 in both 1970 and 2000, but higher at all intervals in between. The largest value was 7800 in 1995.

The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000

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