The cambridge 1, task 2, please check for me, thank you so much

This topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
You should write at least 250 words.

We are living in the modern world and everything always changing, have many new things created per day. However, a lot of things still keep their value. Music brings a lot of emotions and helps connect people. Traditional music still is stable place in the heart of people, sometimes it's more important than the modern music

Music brings closeness and emotion, it reflects the daily life around people, each person can find familiar something in the lyrics. Every song has written based on the familiar things in life, so it's very easy to understand and remember. Music has not distinguished the audience, from children to adults can be able to listen and feel.

Traditional music is sometimes more important than modern music. Ancient music has appeared for a long time and it has an unmoving position in the hearts of so many people. It reminds memories in the past, the life before. For instance, you can see many coffee shops and restaurants open traditional songs all of the days. Traditional music is a special culture of the area, country, valuable as history and should be preserved. In addition, old songs often established about spiritual life and it has not affected by modern life, so they are still supported by everyone.

In conclusion, music brings a lot of emotions and makes people feel closer, understand each other. All types of music bring the enjoyment and passion, but the place of traditional music still cannot replace in everyone's heart.