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"Dear Barbara" is an advise column for teenage girls so when LaFleur see's her room covered in unicorns, he thinks she should get some professional, psychological help with her 'teen age' obsession. It's funny.
"You had me at blood and *****" refers to a suggestion made earlier where they can sell their blood and ***** for money. Entering the dodgeball tournament is obviously a better idea so LaFleur made a raunchy play on words from "You had me at hello" from Jerry Maguire.