The best way to say this sentence for master's admission email

Thank you so much for the notes and tips. That's really important to me.

Following your notes:

1. require a minimum 6.5 or 7 IELTS score for admissions

• You're right, but universities like Texas requires 6 minimum.
• I'm considering doing a new IELTS test and aiming to 6.
• 6.5 would be a huge step up for me that requires me a lot of hard work and study.
• Another important point, is that me and other colleagues when searching to master's admission, we want conditional admission, which is connected with a pre-study of English course in one of the English institutions nearby the university in the US, which can take up to a whole year of finishing multiple levels at this institution.
• Also, the university knows about this, and take up these admissions with this system, which they skip the requirement of having their required TOEFL/IELTS score and would rely on passing the institution.

2. Do not use acronyms.

OK, got that.

3. I am not asking for admission at this time, but a provisional approval of my application, on the condition that I improve my IELTS score to XX before the formal admissions deadline for Fall, 2022. With a conditional approval, my company will grant me a scholarship which will enable me to enroll in English classes and then pay the tuition and fees for a Master's program. My current qualifications and personal recommendations are in the attachment.

Do, you mean this is your recommended form of my state of purpose ? Or this is the rude translation of what I wrote in the email form ?

Thanks again for all you support,