The bar chart below shows the number of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Question

The chart compares student numbers who had a certain university subjects' choices in 2005. Overall, most of female non-verbal subjects like Socia Sciences and Language. Whereas, most of male chose Technical subjects suchs as Mathematics and Science.

As can be seen from the chart, Social Science was the subject that was chosen most by female (at about 25 thousands) and Language was the second one (at nearly 20 thousands). Meanwhile, subjects like Mathematics and Law wasn't chosen as many as other subjects by women, making up just 5 thousand people. Science was the most popular subjects with men, over 20 thousand men chose it. Besides, Mathematics was qute popular with nearly 20 thousand men. Nevertheless, Languages and the Arts was the least popular with male: just 2 and 3 thousands. The number of men and women who chose Humanities was the same.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic:

The bar chart below shows the number of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote less than the minimum word count, so you will lose points for that. You need three paragraphs; two is insufficient. Also, there are many errors in selecting singular versus plural forms.

The chart (What kind of chart? A pie chart? Organization chart? ) compares ~~student~~ numbers of students who chose different fields of study in university ~~had a certain university subjects' choices~~ in 2005. (Incomplete. How many subjects are there? What are they?) (You must begin a new paragraph because you changed topics from describing the bar chart to giving information about its contents.) ~~Overall, most of female non-verbal subjects like Socia Sciences and Language. Whereas, most of male chose Technical subjects suchs as Mathematics and Science.~~

~~As can be seen from the chart,~~ (Unnecessary verbiage.) Social Science was the subject that was chosen most by female (wrong form) (at about 25 thousands) (wrong form) and Language was the second one (at nearly 20 thousands). Meanwhile, subjects like Mathematics and Law wasn't (wrong form, also do not use contractions in essays) chosen as many (wrong word) as other subjects by women, making up just 5 thousand people. Science was the most popular subjects (wrong form) with men, (comma splice error) over 20 thousand men chose it. Besides, Mathematics was qute popular with nearly 20 thousand men. Nevertheless, Languages and the Arts was the least popular with male: (wrong form) just 2 and 3 thousands. (wrong form) The number of men and women who chose Humanities was the same.

Here are some interesting observations about this bar chart.

In planning the essay, I write down these points. Then when I begin the essay, I put two or three of the most important features in the "overall" paragraph, and the others in the "details" paragraph.

If you add up all the numbers in all the subjects, you will find there are equal numbers of men and women, a total of 95 thousand. That is an interesting observation.

Equal numbers of men and women enrolled in these subjects, although there were great individual disparities per subject.

With these totals you can talk about the proportion of each group who selected one of the subjects. For example, only 3% of the men chose to study languages, compared with 42% who picked Math or Science.

The ratio of women to men in languages was 9 to 1; for every 10 students enrolled in languages, 9 would be women and only one would be a man.

Science ranked as the first choice for men, followed by math, literature, social sciences and law.
Among the women, social sciences ranked first, followed by languages. Nearly half of all the women (44%) were in one of these two majors.

The least popular subject was the arts with a total enrollment of 12 thousand students, the majority of whom were women, (10 thousand).

The subject with the highest overall enrollment was social sciences, with 38 thousand. Humanities was unique in having equal numbers of men and women.

Here is my example opening paragraph:

The bar chart compares the numbers of men and women by the subject they selected to study in university in 2005. There were eight different study areas, ranging from Sciences and Math to Literature and Arts.

The bar chart below shows the number of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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