The American Dream - please correct

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00I wrote this essay on the American Dream to get some practise for my final english exam, which I am going to sit in 3 days. Could you guys please correct my mistakes and tell me if there is anything I should keep in mind for the next time? I'd like to know as well how to write more idiomatically, so don't hesitate to mark sentences that are not necessarily wrong but not native speaker-like. Many thanks in advance!02br
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01u00Is the American Dream a good dream?02u02br
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00To my mind the American Dream has several good sides as well as demerits.02br
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00On the one hand a very positive element of the American Dream is the respect for those who have reached their goals – may it be during school or college, in the business world or in the sports sector. Thus personal accomplishment can be very fulfilling. By contrast in Germany good pupils are called names if their get excellent marks: instead of admiration they oftentimes face disrespect and jealousy.00 Moreover, the American Dream encourages everyone to believe in themselves which results in more self-confidence. 02br
00Furthermore it promotes essential values, for instance equality. According to the American Dream, every single member of society is recognized as an individual and has the same opportunities, irrespective of his skin colour or rank of birth (“to go from rags to riches”). Consequently different degrees of success are exclusively the result of people’s different individual efforts. Even though racial equality does not actually exist yet, there is at least equality in hope. For this reason the American Dream constitutes a driving force which helps the poor and unsuccessful better endure crises – they have the prospect of the tide turning again.02br
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00But on the other hand hope quite frequently turns into dependancy. People dedicate their whole life to achieving a certain goal, it is their main focus in life. However, in so doing they run the risk of having to cope with a dangerous vacuum once their dream is shattered. What I additionally consider bad about the American Dream is the fact that large parts of society particularly or even solely attach importance to its tangible, financial aspect. They first and foremost strive for material plenty and prosperity and center their life around expensive cars and big houses to the sake of social appreciaton. Due to that very stance rather unsuccessful persons (in terms of money) might experience a feeling of failure and inferiority, even though they possibly have other great qualities. What is more, the American Dream advocates ambition and thus spurs people. But ambition is too often carried to the extremes and makes for a rat race that is dominated by absolute competition among colleagues. Everyone aims to be a cut above the rest and hence searches for ways to promote himself. I fear it is inevitable that some individuals, who are not up to the challenge by fair means, go astray, acting immorally or breaking the law.02br
00In my opinion, all things considered, the American Dream itself is a good dream when it is not pushed too far, as hope can turn into dependancy and ambition may cause ruthlessness.0-