That or when

Question

Hello,Are my sentence proper?For example, last time that I went with my friend to movietheater, we went to watch the lizard. It was an exceptional satire on religious fanaticism and was about corrupted mullahs in iran.it was a joy to share your happiness with other audience and laigh with them.Thank you in advance.

Quaerereverum · Accepted Answer

Could anybody say if my sentence are OK?
Thank you.

CalifJim · Answer

quaerereverumFor example, last time that I went with my friend to movietheater, we went to watch the lizard. It was an exceptional satire on religious fanaticism and was about corrupted mullahs in iran.it was a joy to share your happiness with other audience and laigh with them.

Why are you talking about "we" went to the movie, and then about sharing "your" happiness? The change from "we" to "your" is a little abrupt, so it's hard to follow what you're trying to say. Maybe you meant "our"?

Try to avoid patterns with It was ... and was ... and was ... and was .... Try to think of a verb that's more interesting than "was".

Here's my suggestion:

For example, last time that I went with my friend to movie theater, we went to watch The Lizard. It was an exceptional satire on religious fanaticism, featuring corrupt mullahs in Iran. It was a joy to share our? happiness with the rest of the audience and laugh with them.

CJ

Quaerereverum · Answer

Thank you so much CJ for help.<img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/63.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/63.gif' alt='Emotion: rose'/>

CalifJim · Answer

quaerereverumCan I say as a last reason, ''It is a joy when you share your happiness with the rest of the audience and laugh with them.'' Or should I use our?

When you change it to the present tense and say "It is joy ...", you make it a general statement, and as a general statement it can be stated in terms of "you" OR "we". They both work.

It is a joy when you share your happiness with the rest of the audience and laugh with them.
OR
It is a joy when we share our happiness with the rest of the audience and laugh with them.

There is a slight problem with "we", however, because you have already used "we" to mean you and your friend. Because of this the reader might confuse the general "we" ("all of us", "all people") with the specific "we" ("my friend and I").

CJ

Quaerereverum · Answer

Thank you very much, indeed.

That or when

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions