let`s think about the present pertect , what is the present perfect ? it`s something that started at the nonspecific time at the past and may or may not be still happening at the present. However, most of the times, we are interested in its result ....
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One of the jobs of the present perfect is to make connections between past events and now. His father's death in 1994 has [to this day] seriously affected him.
I realized that you were the best thing that has ever happened to me.
How can he 'realize' at point 2 that the event at point 1 is the 'best thing' between point 0 and point 4? Is he psychic?
We agree that the moment of speaking is at point 4. 'He' is saying that at some past point, [exactly when is not important] it came to him, ie. "he realized" that 'she' was the best thing that ever happened to 'him'. [Emphasis added.]