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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Grammar
Tense exercise
Hi, please correct this short piece. Note: This is a made-up story
Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground. At that moment of seeing it, my eyes lightened up and several thoughts came up instantly: "Should I pick it up?" "What if this is a trick, a trick to pull a plank?" "What if this is a decoy to videotape someone's action?" As these thoughts came up, I reached down and picked it up, only to find it was a fake dollar bill. "There it goes -- you made of a fool of yourself," I thought to myself. Choices -- that is what we will have until we pass away and knowing there are moments we have to make instant choices like this and knowing we could fall victim to bad choices like the one above that won't give us time to think hard, which could ruin your day, or perhaps ruin something more important, is what saddens me. One dollar -- yeh, one dollar -- normally, this wouldn't buy a box of decent cookies, unless you are in a store that have most of their goods under one dollar.
Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground. At that moment of seeing it, my eyes lightened up and several thoughts came up instantly: "Should I pick it up?" "What if this is a trick, a trick to pull a plank?" "What if this is a decoy to videotape someone's action?" As these thoughts came up, I reached down and picked it up, only to find it was a fake dollar bill. "There it goes -- you made of a fool of yourself," I thought to myself. Choices -- that is what we will have until we pass away and knowing there are moments we have to make instant choices like this and knowing we could fall victim to bad choices like the one above that won't give us time to think hard, which could ruin your day, or perhaps ruin something more important, is what saddens me. One dollar -- yeh, one dollar -- normally, this wouldn't buy a box of decent cookies, unless you are in a store that have most of their goods under one dollar.
Top answer
I have underlined some problem areas: Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground. " As these thoughts came up, I reached down and picked it up, only to find it was a fake dollar bill. "There it goes -- you made of a fool of yourself," I thought to myself.
- I have underlined some problem areas: Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground.
- " As these thoughts came up, I reached down and picked it up, only to find it was a fake dollar bill.
- "There it goes -- you made of a fool of yourself," I thought to myself.
- Choices -- that is what we will have until we pass away and knowing there are moments we have to make instant choices like this and knowing we could fall victim to bad choices like the one above that won't give us time to think hard, which could ruin your day, or perhaps ruin something more important, is what saddens me.
- One dollar -- yeh, one dollar -- normally, this wouldn't buy a box of decent cookies, unless you are in a store that have most of their goods under one dollar.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas:
Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground. At that moment of seeing it, my eyes lightened up and several thoughts came up instantly: "Should I pick it up?" "What if this is a trick, a trick to pull a plank?" "What if th
I have underlined some problem areas:
Yesterday evening, I was coming home by subway, taking subway line X to Anywhere Station, when I spotted a dollar bill on the ground. At that moment of seeing it, my eyes lightened up and several thoughts came up instantly: "Should I pick it up?" "What if this is a trick, a trick to pull a plank?" "What if th
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