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Army5 Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Tears
Hi, please check the following paragraph. Thank you.
My mother too shed tears. While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation. My only anxiety now is: while the cradle baby scheme has saved the lives of hundreds of children, it should not be mistaken that the government is encouraging parents to abandon baby girls.
My mother too shed tears. While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation. My only anxiety now is: while the cradle baby scheme has saved the lives of hundreds of children, it should not be mistaken that the government is encouraging parents to abandon baby girls.
Top answer
Hello, army-- and welcome to EnglishForward. I have underlined some problem areas: My mother too shed tears. While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation.
- Hello, army-- and welcome to EnglishForward.
- I have underlined some problem areas: My mother too shed tears.
- While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation.
- My only anxiety now is: while ( restructure this part of the sentence to mesh better with the rest of it) the cradle baby scheme has saved the lives of hundreds of children, it should not be mistaken that the government is encouraging parents to abandon baby girls.
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1 Answers
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Hello, army-- and welcome to EnglishForward. I have underlined some problem areas:
My mother too shed tears. While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation. My only anxiety now is: while (restructure this part of the sentence to mesh better with the r
My mother too shed tears. While my tears displayed a sort of gratefulness and thanks giving for her selfless service and dedication to the children, mother’s were of pride and elation. My only anxiety now is: while (restructure this part of the sentence to mesh better with the r
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