Teacher please check this writing task 1 and give my band score

Câu h?i : The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperatures for Auckland and Christchurch, two cities in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two cities in the United Kingdom. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart compares the levels of temperatures in Celsius throughout the year for Auckland and Christchurch, New Zealand and London and Edinburgh, United Kingdom.

It is clear that the average daily temperatures are fluctuated in four countries from January to December. Especially, July witness the lowest temperatures in Auckland and Christchurch and the highest figures in London and Ediburgh.

During January and February, approximately 24 and 23 degrees respectively recorded warmer temperatures in both Auckland and Christchurch, but the figure for temperatures in London and Ediburgh remained 5 degrees. Similary, during July and August, in both cities Auckland and Christchurch dropped steadily, reaching a low 15 degrees in Auckland and 11 degrees in Christchurch. While the period to climbing temperature was highest at 22 degrees in London and the figure of those at 18 degrees in Ediburgh.

Although the data for London and Ediburgh shows a temperature slightly around 6 degrees in December, the two cities of New Zealand show completely the opposite pattern the same month to rise above 20 degrees.