Teacher Could you please help me correct my IELTS essay

TOPIC: An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with situation?

Many underdeveloped countries throughout the world are facing the burning issue on brain drain. White collars have tendency to move to developed countries in the hope of better employment prospect. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle this problem.

There are different reasons to explain this issue. The first and foremost is lack of vocational opportunity. The increasing number of students with educational qualifications places strain on overcrowding job market in poor countries, which makes job-searching much more difficult than ever before Another contributing factor fostering this trend is salary. Although engineering or teaching is regarded as well-paid careers, the income is seemingly unable to meet their expectation based on their dedication and effort. Finally, working background also plays a role in intellectual people’s choice. Unprofessional and restricting environment poses handicaps to promote employees’ ability optimally, which results in disappointment. For these reasons, intelligentsias make up their mind to leave their native land.

Followed these above causes, measures to attract talents are presented as below. To begin with, the labor market needs to be expanded for the purpose of creating opportunities for unemployed people. Furthermore, in addition to appropriate level of salary, extra pay or job promotion is also an eligible method to keep worker on their toes. Last but not least, it is also important to construct a professional working environment which gave the talented and skillful employees the chances to develop their maximum capability.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are obvious reasons for brain capital flight in developing countries. However, I take the view that if steps are implemented efficiently, we are absolutely able to take a positive look on a brighter future.

p/s: Dear teacher, thank you so much for your enthusiastic help all along. I don't know how to express my gratefulness. i just want to say thank you, many many many. Hope that i am not so annoying.