Task2. Explain some of the ways in which human are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Question

In contemporary society,it is true that the number of damaging to environment from human is significantly increasing worldwide.There are a number of several problems have resulted from this tendency and they be tackled by a number of effective solutions from governments and individuals can take to address these problems.

It is obvious that we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet.My essay will elaborate on causes and solutions to this trend.

There are several reasons for threats to the environment.The main major issue is that air pollution from industrial waste and human activities.The chemical and weaponds manufacturing industries are considered the cause of the rapid increase in harmful emissions such as SO2,CO2….In addition,exhaust fumes from vehicles or the burning of charcoal,honeycomb charcoal also emits CO2, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future.

Another problem is that water pollution.Water is the source of life for all living things on the planet,it plays an extremely important role for humans.Therefore,if the water source is polluted,it will lead to many dangerous consequences.The cause of water pollution is due to agricultural activities such as pesticides,fertilizers containing toxic ingredients that pollute water sources.Furthermore,natural factors such as rain,floods creatures,sewage...blackened in many places causing pollution on a large scale.

Since such issue,both the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address these problems.The first solution would be the government needs to take measures to deal with these problems from large urban areas,industrial parks,and places that discharge a lot of wastewater to overcome contribute to regaining the cleanliness of the environment.The second measure would be individuals should also be responsible for the impact they have on environment such as plant many trees around the house,do not cut down indiscriminately and take public transport instead of private cars.

In conclusion, there are various negative cosequences of damaging the environment and appropriate steps need to be taken to these problems,not only by the governments but also by individuals.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Explain some of the ways in which human are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote 350 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

In contemporary society,~~it is true that~~ (Would you write something that is false? This is not very good as an opening.) the number of damaging (wrong form. There is not such thing as "number of damaging" Damaging is not a noun, and it cannot be counted. .) to environment from human (Did one person do all this damage?) is significantly increasing worldwide.There are a number of ~~several~~ problems (Either "number of problems" or "several problems" not both.) have resulted from this tendency and they be tackled by a number of (You repeat the word "number" too much.) effective solutions from governments and individuals can take to address these problems.

(Ungrammatical. It is not correct to put a full clause as the object of a preposition. Do not write two introduction paragraphs.)

It is obvious that we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet.~~My essay will elaborate on causes and solutions to this trend.~~

Never mention your essay. The examiner knows you are writing an essay. They know the topic and the instructions. Do not repeat this information to them. Instead, write your main point or conclusion as an introduction.

There are many spelling and spacing errors in your writing. Please be careful in putting a space after a punctuation mark. I have difficulty giving specific advice because of the bad formatting. There are quite a few issues with your writing, so please revise the essay and post the revision.

There are several reasons for threats to the environment.The main major issue is that air pollution from industrial waste and human activities.The chemical and weaponds manufacturing industries are considered the cause of the rapid increase in harmful emissions such as SO2,CO2….In (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases such as "and so on" in formal writing.) addition,exhaust fumes from vehicles or the burning of charcoal,honeycomb (missing conjunction) charcoal also emits CO2, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future.

Another problem is that water pollution.Water (Incomplete first sentence.) is the source of life for all living things on the planet,it plays an extremely important role for humans.Therefore,if the water source is polluted,it will lead to many dangerous consequences.The cause of water pollution is due to agricultural activities such as pesticides,fertilizers (missing conjunction) containing toxic ingredients that pollute water sources.Furthermore,natural factors such as rain,floods creatures,sewage...blackened (ungrammatical) in many places causing pollution on a large scale.

Since such issue,both (ungrammatical first clause) the government and individuals should take steps immediately to address these problems.The first solution would be the government needs to take measures to deal with these problems from large urban areas,industrial parks,and places that discharge a lot of wastewater to overcome contribute to regaining the cleanliness of the environment.The second measure would be individuals should also be responsible for the impact they have on environment such as plant many trees around the house,do not cut down indiscriminately and take public transport instead of private cars.

In conclusion, there are various negative cosequences of damaging the environment and appropriate steps need to be taken to these problems,not only by the governments but also by individuals.

Task2. Explain some of the ways in which human are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

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