Task 2 Writing

Pls help me check my writing below. Thank you!

Topic: In some countries, some high school leavers are choosing to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of those school leavers’ decision. Give your own opinions

Many high school graduates have a tendency to look for a temporary job or go on a trip before university life. While there are a lot of drawbacks to working or travelling right after school, I would argue that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, taking a gap year to get a job or travel is disadvantageous to some extent. First, students who work right after school may start pursuing academic qualifications later than their fellows. As a result, they rarely have a chance to have a high salary and get promotions. Second, being a traveller costs a large amount of money whilst an 18-year-old-student can not afford everything. This leads to a problem that they have to ask for money from their parents, which is not advisable.

On the other hand, I believe that it is better for high school leavers to work or travel before taking higher education. The main benefit is that they will have countless opportunities to acquire many important soft skills which are necessary and are not taught in college. Young people may learn how to manage time and money when doing their part-time job. Even, they can learn how to speak a foreign language if they go travelling abroad. Furthermore, youngsters might find out exactly what they want to do as many students are unable to determine their future.

In conclusion, it seems to me that young people should take a gap year to start working or travelling before applying for university, although there are still some drawbacks.