TASK 1_TURKEY ECONOMY

Question

Hello. This is my next practice writing. I will be grateful if you can read it and give me some advice. Thank you very much. The picture is attached below

The pie charts above show the percentages of industry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Write a report of at least 150 words reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart compares in percentage terms the contributions of seven particular areas to the total economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

Overall, most sectors’ contributions increased noticeably between 2000 and 2016, except for the three particular following ones: agriculture, government, leisure and hospitality. Of all seven sectors, healthcare and education is the only one remaining the same in both given years, which is 17%

In 2000, agriculture made up 24% of Turkey’s economy, which was the largest share in this country. However, in 2016, its contribution inclined nearly by a factor of two, only 14%. The same pattern took place in government, which decreased approximately twice from 12% (2000) to 9% (2016). In contrast, while construction only accounted for a negligible proportion in 2000, 3%, its share rose threefold in 2016, which was 10%. Manufacturing increased by 4% compared to 8% in the first year. Furthermore, finance, business and other presented 8% in 2016, which was an expand by 3%. Trade, utilities and transportation had the lowest growth of 2% among all.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The pie chart (Is there only one?) compares in percentage terms the contributions of seven particular sectors ~~areas~~ to the total economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

Overall, ~~most~~ four sectors’ contributions increased noticeably between 2000 and 2016, and three decreased ~~except for the three particular following ones~~: agriculture, government, leisure and hospitality. Of all seven sectors, healthcare and education is the only one ~~remaining~~ that was the same in both ~~given~~ years, which is 17% (missing punctuation)

Here are some good points for the "overall" paragraph.

Your points are somewhat weak.

Overall, the contribution of these sectors was much more evenly spread out in 2016 compared to 2000. The contributions in 2000 ranged from 3% to 24%, a factor of three difference, whereas the range in 2016 was much narrower, between 8 and 17%. The top three sectors in 2000 amounted to nearly 60%, compared to less than half in 2016. The largest sector in 2000 was agriculture, which slipped to third place, tied with leisure and hospitality, in 2016.

In 2000, agriculture made up 24% of Turkey’s economy, which was the largest share ~~in this country~~. (You are not comparing different countries) However, in 2016, its contribution inclined (wrong word) ~~nearly by a factor of two~~, by nearly half, only 14%. The same pattern ~~took place~~ occurred in government, which decreased ~~approximately twice~~ by a quarter, from 12% (2000) to 9% (2016). In contrast, while construction only accounted for a negligible proportion in 2000, 3%, its share rose more than threefold in 2016, ~~which was~~ 10%. Manufacturing increased by 4% 50%, 12% compared to 8% in the first year. Furthermore, finance, business and other was ~~presented~~ 8% in 2016, which was an expand (wrong word) by increase of 3%. Trade, utilities and transportation had the ~~lowest growth~~ smallest change of 2% among all.

You need to learn the difference in these two expressions. "Of" and "by" have completely different meanings.

1. increase of 4%. Manufacturing had an increase of 4%, from 8% to 12%.

2. increase by 50% Manufacturing increased by 50%, from 8% to 12%.

by 50% = the value was 50% larger. 50% = 1/2 . In the case of manufacturing, one half (or 50%) of 8% is 4%.

You need to study how to group categories together, so you are not just copying and comparing individual values on the charts.

For example:

In 2000, the three smallest sectors contributed 16% to the economy, in contrast with 2016, where it was more than a quarter (27%).

The top three sectors in both years were made up of Agriculture, Healthcare and Leisure and Hospitality, but their ranking changed and their overall contribution was less, being 58% in 2000 and 45% in 2016.

TASK 1_TURKEY ECONOMY

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