TASK 1 (Table) The worldwide market share of the mobile phone market

Question

Hello teacher. I just wrote an essay for task 1 in the IELTS test. Please correct it for me. If possible, please give your answer for this task. It will become one of my good source for writing. Thank you so much.

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:

This table compares the proportion of the sharing market in terms of mobile phone of several companies over two specific years (2005 versus 2006). These particularly are Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, L.G, BenQ Mobile, and others.

Overall, the mobile phone market was dominated by Nokia, and BenQ Mobile was in the least place except for the others group over the years 2005 and 2006. Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson showed the same pattern of going up, while the remained ones went up with different rates.

In the initial year, Nokia ranked first among these companies with slightly about one third the total in terms of percentage, and remained the same position in the following year with 35 percent. It nearly doubled that of Motorola which was in the second place in 2005 and 2006, at around 18 and 22 percent respectively. Samsung, like other remained companies, barely decreased from 12.7 to 11.8 percent over these years. Sony Ericsson, L.G, and BenQ Mobile accounted for the minor proportion with 6.3, 6.7, and 4.9 percent in 2005, then changed into 7.4, 6.3 ,and 2.4 in the next year. For the other companies, there was a decline of 3 percent, from 19.2 to 16.2 percent

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

This table compares the proportion of the sharing market (incorrect. There are meat markets and flower markets and street markets, but there is no such thing as a sharing market.) in terms of mobile phone of several companies ~~over~~ for two specific years (2005 versus 2006). These particularly are Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, L.G, BenQ Mobile, and others.

Overall, the mobile phone market was dominated by Nokia, and BenQ Mobile was in the least (last) place except for the others group ~~over the years 2005 and 2006.~~ Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson showed the same pattern of going up, while the ~~remained ones~~ others went up (Incorrect. They went in the opposite direction!) by different amounts ~~with different rates.~~ (You cannot measure a rate with two numbers, only a percent increase.)

In 2005 ~~the initial year~~, Nokia ranked first among these companies with slightly about (wrong expression! slightly less than ) one third ~~the total~~ in terms of percentage, (Wrong. one-third is a fraction. It is not a percentage. The percentage is 33.333.) and remained the same position in the following year with 35 percent. It nearly doubled (wrong expression. If something doubles in value, it changes from, for example, 5 to 10 or 13 to 26. You are talking about two different measurements. You cannot use the verb. First-place Nokia had a little less than double the market share of second-place Motorola.) that of Motorola which was in the second place in 2005 and 2006, at around 18 and 22 (wrong number. 21 is closer.) percent respectively. Samsung' market share, like the remaining ~~other remained~~ (wrong form.) companies, ~~barely~~ decreased from 12.7 to 11.8 percent ~~over these years.~~ Sony Ericsson, L.G, and BenQ Mobile accounted for ~~the minor proportion with~~ 6.3, 6.7, and 4.9 percent in 2005, (comma splice) which changed to ~~then~~ changed into 7.4, 6.3 ,and 2.4 in the next year. For the other companies, there was a decline of 3 percent, from 19.2 to 16.2 percent (missing punctuation.)

The table lists / compares / gives (You can use any of these verbs) the market share of six cell phone manufacturers (Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, L.G and BenQ Mobile) in 2005 and 2006.

Overall, Nokia was the definitive market leader, having about a one-third share. The top three companies, Nokia, second-ranked Motorola and third-ranked Samsung had captured more than two-thirds of the market in 2006, up from about 62% in 2005. The company with the smallest percentage, BenQ Mobile, lost half of its market share. And all the other manufacturers, which were not explicitly named in the table, had about one-fifth share in 2005, dropping to one-sixth in 2006.

Only three companies had more than a tenth of the market. The most significant changes were for Motorola, which increased its share from 17.7 to 21.1 percent, and BenQ Mobile, whose share decreased from about five to two and a half percent. Nokia managed to gain 2.5%, from 32.5 to 35%. The other companies listed changed by a percentage point or less. For example, Samsung went down by nine-tenths and L.G dropped four-tenths of one percent.

TASK 1 (Table) The worldwide market share of the mobile phone market

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