Task 1 (Pie graph): The online shopping sales for retail sectors

Hello teacher, I just wrote an essay for task 1 in the IELTS test. Please check and correct it for me.

Have a nice day, teacher.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

Answer:

The two pie graphs compare the year 2005 and 2010 in terms of online sales for retail sectors in Canada on on four different categories. These four are electronics & appliance, food & beverage, home furnishings, and video games.

Overall, the proportion of these four categories significantly changed from 2005 to 2010. While the percentage for food & beverage and video games increased, the other two categories decreased over the 5-year period.

Electronics & appliance has the highest proportion in 2005, about 35 percent. After 5 years, it declined and was on the second place after only food & beverage, at 30 percent. Home furnishings also showed the same trend, decreasing from 25 percent in 2005 to exactly 15 percent in the next 5 years.

In contrast, the proportion for food & beverage gave a sharply increase, began from 22 percent in the year 2005 and ranked first with 32 percent after 5 years. For video games, there was a difference of 5 percent between 2005 and 2010, starting out at 18 percent and ended at 23 percent in the year of 2010.