Task 1 - contribution to The UK economy

Question

The bar chart provides information about how to three sectors agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services contributed to the UK economy from 1900 to 2000

We can see from data that agriculture contributed to the UK economy considerably more than other sectors during the first 75 years of period. By contrast, it was exceeded by manufacturing and business and financial which made up the largest percentage of the UK economy on 1975 and 2000 respectively.

There were almost 50 % for agriculture, 45% for manufacturing of the contributed total proportion compared with only 4% for the third sector from 1990 to 1995. The pattern was familiar in next 25 years, agriculture was still significantly more important than 2 other segments. However, from 1975 to 2000 the UK economy depended on manufacturing and Business and financial instead of agriculture. The figures of contribution to economy were the highest in 1975 for manufacturing and that in 2000 for business and financial standing at 35 % for both

In general, there was noticeable decrease in the proportion for agriculture and manufacturing, whereas, Business and financial was much more important to country’s economy year by year.

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I have another question:

As your advice before, when we write task 1, we shouldn't use " we can see that" or it is clear that?

however, I read and learn from different document, I found that they use that a lots, so if the model standards are change?

Thanks so much for your help!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

ThaleeAs your advice before, when we write task 1, we shouldn't use " we can see that" or it is clear that?

Avoid these because of two reasons:

1. "we see that" - The professor you are writing for knows what you are looking at. It is completely unnecessary to say such things. I call them "filler words" because they increase the essay word count while giving no information about the subject at all.

2. "it is evident / clear / obvious / noticeable that" - These are "opinion" words. It is better not to use them because you are only describing the figure, not giving opinions or conclusions.

The clauses are grammatically correct, but you can write exemplary high-scoring essays without using these kinds of clauses.

Instead, look for opportunities to use a calculator to give information that can be derived from the data. That will impress the reader much more than filler clauses and opinion words.

Also look for things that are not obvious!

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The bar chart provides information about how to ("how to + verb" e.g. I know how to write an essay.) three sectors agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services contributed to the UK economy from 1900 to 2000 (missing punctuation)

~~We can see from data that~~ Agriculture contributed

~~We can see from data that~~ Agriculture contributed to the UK economy considerably more (How much more? Use a calculator so you can be specific!) than other sectors during the first 75 years of the period. (incorrect. Agriculture lost its dominant position sometime between 1950 and 1975. There is not enough data to give the year or years when manufacturing surpassed agriculture. ) By contrast, it was exceeded by manufacturing and business and financial which made up the largest percentage of the UK economy on (wrong word) 1975 and 2000 respectively.

You missed an important point.

In 1900, the TOTAL (use a calculator!) of these three sectors was 100%( 50, 45, 5). In 1950, it was still 100% (52, 40, 8) even though the individual proportions had changed. In other words, for the first half century, these three sectors made up all of the UK economy. But in 2000, the total was only 54%. (35, 17, 2). All together the selected sectors accounted for a bit over half of the economy.

Isn't that an important feature of this graph?

The contribution of Agriculture dropped by a factor of 10 (50% to 5%) whereas that of Business and Finance increased by a factor of 10 (3% to 35%) over the course of the twentieth century. Manufacturing declined by about half (45% to 17%).

(Use a calculator - or do the additions in your head.)

There were almost 50 % for agriculture, 45% for manufacturing of the contributed total proportion compared with only 4% for the third sector from 1990 to 1995. (I did not see those years on the chart.) The pattern was familiar in next 25 years, agriculture was still significantly more important than 2 the two other segments. However, from 1975 to 2000 the UK economy depended on manufacturing and Business and financial instead of agriculture. The figures (wrong word) of contribution to economy were the highest in 1975 for manufacturing and that in 2000 for business and financial standing at 35 % for both (missing punctuation)

In general, there was noticeable decrease in the proportion for agriculture and manufacturing, whereas, Business and financial was much more important to the country’s economy year by year.

Task 1 - contribution to The UK economy

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