Task 1

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Hi,It would be appreciated if you could check the following Task 1 report:The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The data is shown in the form of a bar chart, which compares the amount of electricity generated and used in 10 nations which were leading in this regard in 2014. The figures are contrasted as “billion kWh). In general, China and the U.S. produced and consumed the largest amount of electricity in 2014 respectively. By contrast, the Republic of Korea and Germany stayed at the bottom of the chart with the lowest numbers, respectively. However, Germany in that year stood out from the other countries in that its consumption of electricity overtook its production, a feature not seen in the other nations.In 2014, China produced 5,398 billion kWh of electricity, which was almost 10 times bigger than that of Brazil (530). But both the nations were remained with around 75 billion kWh of electricity when their consumption is subtracted from their production. The figures for France were also very similar to those of Brazil. Ranking third, Russia’s production and consumption of electricity was nearly the same (1057 vs 1038). Going down the chart, Japan stands above India, with the production of 936.2 billion kWh, almost twice as much as that of Korea at the bottom of the chart (485.1). Their rates of consumption, though, have a less accurate correspondence comparatively: 856.7 against 449.5.A closer look at the chart reveals that the two North American nations (The US and Canada) bore little comparison when looked at their electricity use. With a generation capacity of around 4,100 billion kWh in 2014, the United States outnumbered that of Canada’s approximately by a factor of seven. Both the nations used up nearly all of their produced electricity in a way that the reminder barely served them for one month.

Poster · Accepted Answer

I make that 288 words. In the exam you only have about twenty minutes for Task 1. If you encounter a wealth of data in the exam, one way to deal with it all in the time available is to select, and group similar data together. Otherwise you may run out of time, or your Task 2 essay will be compromised. When both task scores are combined, Task 2 is given double weighting. It is very hard to score and overall Band 7 in writing without scoring Band 7 for Task 2, so it is important to apportion your time accordingly.

The data is shown in the form of a bar chart, which compares the amount of electricity generated and used [My understanding is that you will not be penalized for copying the labels or heading from the diagram in Task 1, provided not more than three consecutive words are copied; so I question the wisdom of trying to paraphrase them, as it may lead to inaccuracy, for which you will definitely be penalized.] in 10 [ten] nations which were leading in this regard in 2014. The figures are contrasted as “billion kWh). [Unnecessary as the units will have to be stated in the details anyway]

[May I suggest making the overview a separate paragraph? It makes it clear to the examiner, so the marks can be awarded more easily in the five minutes available for marking. ] In general, China and the U.S. produced and consumed [by far (making the comparison)] the largest amount of electricity in 2014 ~~respectively~~. [For 'respectively' you will need to state two numbers which are in the same order as the items. Google the usage on Google books .] By contrast, the Republic of Korea and Germany stayed at the bottom of the chart with the lowest numbers, ~~respectively~~. [Why not deal with all the remaining countries as a group? -> All the remaining countries on the list produced and consumed less than on quarter by comparison.] However, Germany in that year stood out from the other countries in that its consumption of electricity overtook its production, a feature not seen in the other nations. [Comment: I think this is because they shut down nuclear power stations and imported from France where nuclear power accounts for 75% of production (or something like that). Do not put this in your report it is just FYI]

In 2014, China produced 5,398 billion kWh of electricity, which was almost 10 times bigger than that of Brazil (530). [Why choose Brazil? ] But both the nations were remained [left] with around 75 billion kWh of electricity when their consumption is subtracted from their production. T.......

Might I suggest the following approach:

Give the detail to support the first sentence of your overview, that is, China vs US. This could be one short paragraph.

Rank the remaining countries in order of production/consumption, and provide the production/consumption detail as a range from the lowest to the highest. Alternatively, create a middle group, comprising Russia, Japan, and India, and layout the ranking and range for this middle group separately.

The final paragraph should support the third sentence of the overview, pointing out that production consistently exceeds consumption by a small margin, except in the case of Germany.

In principle, it is a good idea to mention each country, even if only once, just provide coverage in the report. If you follow the above suggestion, it should be possible to complete the task properly within twenty minutes and move on to complete Task 2 properly too.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

It is an excellent essay, with good observations. Most of my suggestions are to make the writing more natural.

The data is shown in the form of a bar chart, which compares the amount of electricity generated and used in 10 the ten (Write out small numbers which are not data values.) nations which were leading in this regard in 2014. The figures are contrasted as “billion kWh). ¶ In general, China and the U.S. produced and consumed the largest amount of electricity ~~in 2014~~ (repetitious) ~~respectively~~. (With "respectively", you need to cite two different values. e.g. The data is sorted by decreasing values. China and the US were the first and second on the chart, respectively.) By contrast, the Republic of Korea and Germany were ~~stayed~~ at the bottom of the chart with the lowest numbers, ~~respectively~~. However, Germany ~~in that year~~ (repetitious) stood out from the other countries in that its consumption of electricity was higher than ~~overtook~~ its production, (also: Germany was a net importer of electricity.) a feature not seen in the other nations.

In 2014, China produced 5,398 billion kWh of electricity, which was almost 10 times bigger than that of Brazil (530). But both the nations were remained (??) with around 75 billion kWh of electricity when their consumption is subtracted from their production. (These nations had a surplus of 75 billion KWh of electricity.) The figures for France were also very similar to those of Brazil. Ranking third, Russia’s production and consumption of electricity was nearly the same (1057 vs 1038). Going down the chart, Japan stands above India, with the production of 936.2 billion kWh, almost twice as much as that of Korea at the bottom of the chart (485.1). Their rates of consumption, though, have a less accurate correspondence comparatively: 856.7 against 449.5.

~~A closer look at the chart reveals that~~ The two North American nations (The US and Canada) bore little ~~comparison~~ resemblance when looked (wrong form) at their electricity use. With a generation capacity of around 4,100 billion kWh in 2014, the United States ~~outnumbered~~ outproduced Canada by ~~that of Canada’s~~ approximately by a factor of seven. Both the nations used up nearly all of their produced electricity in such a way that the ~~reminder~~ annual excess barely served them for one month.

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