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New2grammar Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

tank top

A girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to play with your active and cute dog. Your dog first sniffs her and then starts to climb on her front to lick her face. She is now on her knees. All of a sudden, your dog's paw accidentally pulls her top down, revealing her breasts. She quickly reacts by pulling it back up and hopes noone sees them. Of course, you saw them. Should you apologize or should you just keep quiet and act like nothing has happened?

Are there any mistakes?
Thanks.
  

Top answer

A girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to play with your active and cute dog. Your dog first sniffs her and then starts to climb on her front to lick her face. She is now on her knees.

— Optilang

  • A girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to play with your active and cute dog.
  • Your dog first sniffs her and then starts to climb on her front to lick her face.
  • She is now on her knees.
  • I find this a bit sudden when reading it.
  • We had the dog climbing on her and now she is down on her knees, with no explanation of when, how or why she got there.
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12 Answers
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A girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to play with your active and cute dog. Your dog first sniffs her and then starts to climb on her front to lick her face.

She is now on her knees. I find this a bit sudden when reading it. We had the dog climbing on her and now she is down on her knees, with no explanation of when, how or why she got there. Did the d
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optilangShe is now on her knees. I find this a bit sudden when reading it. We had the dog climbing on her and now she is down on her knees, with no explanation of when, how or why she got there. Did the dog push her over?
I agree with you. I just wanted to make sure the reader knows her position. She is on her knees when my dog climbs on her. Can
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Hi

You didn't make it clear that she was on her knees from the moment the dog started licking her. In fact, I had an image in my mind that the dog was climbing up he to reach her face.

My suggestion:

A girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to play with your active and cute dog. You gladly agree, so she kneels down to start stroking it. Your
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optilangIn fact, I had an image in my mind that the dog was climbing up he to reach her face.
I knew I made that mistake.In an attempt to clarify I added that line but it made it worse. I wonder when you realize you were unclear in a conversation (you can't go back and rewrite), how do you correct yourself? Could you take my situation as an example?
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New2grammar
optilangIn fact, I had an image in my mind that the dog was climbing up he to reach her face.
I knew I made that mistake.In an attempt to clarify I added that line but it made it worse. I wonder when you realize you were unclear in a conversation (you can't go back and rewrite), how do you correct yourself? Could you t
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I actually got what you meant. I was wondering if a native speaker would sometimes accidentally skip a line and then immediately correct it. I guess not though I do, even in my mother tongue. However, I have ways to correct it naturally. I wonder how a native would correct the original.
New2grammarA girl wearing a strapless tank top comes up and asks for permission to pla
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A strapless tank top is an oxymoron. You mean a tube top. At least, you do in the US.

(The answer to the question is, you politely ignore it as though nothing had happened.)
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New2grammarI actually got what you meant. I was wondering if a native speaker would sometimes accidentally skip a line and then immediately correct it. I guess not though I do, even in my mother tongue. However, I have ways to correct it naturally. I wonder how a native would correct the original.
New2grammarA girl wearing a strapless tank top come
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Grammar GeekA strapless tank top is an oxymoron
Why would you say that, GG? I'm not particular familiar with the term, oxymoron. I know themeaning of moron pretty well.

Also, I'm a bit surprised by your choice of tenses.
Grammar Geekyou politely ignore it as though nothing had happened
Present tense combined with
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New2grammarstrapless tank top
It is with great trepidation that I venture into this discussion and I do so onlyin the interest of complete accuracy. After much research and the viewing of many pictures (hey, someone has to do it
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