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Savvysavz Posted 21 years ago

sylph-like walk

This is a poem I wrote some two years back,but could never satisfy myself with a proper title for it.Here goes.

Take a sylph-like walk on life's open road
With each day, a brand new lesson to learn
You have nothing in your soul except a load
A load of debt that your mind made you earn

What have you experienced in this single life?
Did you catch a glimpse of sweet life at all?
Or did what you preach, demolish it all?

Turn back time, look at what you have achieved
Where is life's goodness you had received?
Keep looking and you might find it real soon
And no, you don't have to go to the moon

Did you get the answers you had craved for?
Look close and you'll find it all within you
All the answers to your questions, lie dwelled in you

Life takes its toll the way you make it to be
You are the maker of thy destiny
The riches and comforts you thought you could once grab
Are, before you realize, clinched from your fold

Savvy
  

Top answer

I don't see what sylph has to do with it.

  • I don't see what sylph has to do with it.
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3 Answers
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I don't see what sylph has to do with it.
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I wanted to mean a 'graceful' walk. It doesn't sound good in this context?
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No-- sylph conjures up Greek nymphs. Even graceful walk is irrelevant to the point of your poem. The young lady's other physical features are never mentioned and would seem to have nothing to do with her life experience, the subject of your poem. Poetry must be more concise than prose: no meanderings, no extraneous language.

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