Sweet Life of Celebrities. Would you please glance over it?

Question

Sweet Life of Celebrities

Gloss and shine coming out from almost all eminent people are at the same time the obstacles, which do not allow us to see the stars closer. It is only this is the reason for appearance of a lot of prejudges and mistakes connected with the life of celebrities. It is typical to regard the stars to live in clover. In reality, their life is not so fairy as we are used to think of.

In fact, their live is both banal routine and great attempts to avoid it. We know any work to bring joy if we have inspiration. However, it is very hard to be happy if making recording of only one song takes you 2-3 months and making a film episode forces you to go through about 15 duplicates. Besides, such a job assumes you to communicate with people who regard you to be not the star, but only a business partner, that collision of ambitions frequently happens to. An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi always trying to research your private life. Therefore, the passion of many actors and musicians to alcohol or drugs is not a rock-n-roll, easy-going life, but a simple desire to hide a grief by drinking. We know a lot of cases of running away from such tiresome reality.
The celebrity’s job brings good benefit accompanied by depleting nervous shocks and exhausting people's attention.

One of the most important reasons which make people keep an eye on everything that happens to celebrities is their marvelous life: expensive cloths, restaurants, splendid cars, villas and castles, swimming pools. Lavish costumes, that we pay most of our attention to, have become the object of our worshiping. Ceremonies of rewarding and a lot of festivals have turned into the parades of toilettes. All of the parties collecting eminent persons are no other, but a fair of vanity and a firework of arrogance, which is a very good business for designers and modelers. Nevertheless, few of us know that all the five-million-dollar dresses demonstrated at greatest receptions indeed do not belong to their wearers. They hire the dresses because they cannot afford them earning half a million dollars for each role.

Revelry, singing, dancing, smiling are now the usual environment of any presentations or club parties or something where we can see a lot of celebrities. This cannot avoid attention of the media which always informs us who has raised a new scandal or who has split up; and looking at this, we think that eminent life is a dream for those who want to become popular.

Thank you very much.

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Sweet Life of Celebrities

Gloss and shine coming out from almost all eminent people are at the same time the obstacles, which do not allow us to see the stars closer. It is only this is the reason for appearance of a lot of prejudges and mistakes connected with the life of celebrities. It is typical to regard the stars to live in clover. In reality, their life is not so fairy as we are used to think of.

In fact, their live is both banal routine and great attempts to avoid it. We know any work to bring joy if we have inspiration. However, it is very hard to be happy if making recording of only one song takes you 2-3 months and making a film episode forces you to go through about 15 duplicates. Besides, such a job assumes you to communicate with people who regard you to be not the star, but only a business partner, that collision of ambitions frequently happens to. An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi always trying to research your private life. Therefore, the passion of many actors and musicians to alcohol or drugs is not a rock-n-roll, easy-going life, but a simple desire to hide a grief by drinking. We know a lot of cases of running away from such tiresome reality.
The celebrity’s job brings good benefit accompanied by depleting nervous shocks and exhausting people's attention.

One of the most important reasons which make people keep an eye on everything that happens to celebrities is their marvelous life: expensive cloths, restaurants, splendid cars, villas and castles, swimming pools. Lavish costumes, that we pay most of our attention to, have become the object of our worshiping. Ceremonies of rewarding and a lot of festivals have turned into the parades of toilettes. All of the parties collecting eminent persons are no other, but a fair of vanity and a firework of arrogance, which is a very good business for designers and modelers. Nevertheless, few of us know that all the five-million-dollar dresses demonstrated at greatest receptions indeed do not belong to their wearers. They hire the dresses because they cannot afford them earning half a million dollars for each role.

Revelry, singing, dancing, smiling are now the usual environment of any presentations or club parties or something where we can see a lot of celebrities. This cannot avoid attention of the media which always informs us who has raised a new scandal or who has split up; and looking at this, we think that eminent life is a dream for those who want to become popular.

Mishau,

Some of the phrases seem foreign to me.

Sweet Life of Celebrities

Gloss and shine coming out from almost all eminent people are at the same time the obstacles, which do not allow us to see the stars closer.[1] It is only this is the reason for appearance of a lot of [prejudice] and mistakes connected with the life of celebrities.[1] It is typical to regard the stars to live in clover.[1] In reality, their life is not [a fairy tale, though we tend to think that it is.]

In fact, their live [are] both banal routine and great attempts to avoid [them]. We know any work to bring joy if we have inspiration. However, it is very hard to be happy if making recording of only one song takes you 2-3 months and making a film episode forces you to go through about 15 [takes]. Besides, such a job assumes you to communicate with people who regard you to be not the star, but only a business partner, that collision of ambitions frequently happens to.[1] [2] An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi [are] always trying to research your private life. Therefore, the passion of many actors and musicians [is] alcohol or drugs [which does not lead to a] rock-n-roll, easy-going life, but a simple desire to hide a grief by drinking.[1][you are comparing life with a desire or something.] We know a lot of cases of running away from such tiresome reality. The celebrity’s job brings good benefit accompanied by depletin g[tremendous?] nervous shocks [that] exhaust people's attention.[not sure if my changes reflect your thinking]

One of the most important reasons which make people keep an eye on everything that happens to celebrities is their marvelous li[ves]: expensive cloth[e]s, restaurants, splendid cars, villas and castles, [and] swimming pools. Lavish costumes, that we pay most of our attention to, have become the object of our worship[]. [Rewarding] ceremonies and a lot of festivals have turned into the parades of toilettes.[??] All of the parties collecting eminent persons are no other, but a fair of vanity and a firework of arrogance, which is a very good business for designers and modelers.[1] Nevertheless, few of us know that all the five-million-dollar dresses demonstrated at greatest receptions indeed do not belong to their wearers. They [rent] the dresses because they cannot afford them earning half a million dollars for each role.

Revelry, singing, dancing, smiling are now the usual environment of any presentations or club parties or something where we can see a lot of celebrities. This cannot [escape the] attention of the media which always informs us who has raised a new scandal or who has split up; and looking at this, we think that eminent[celebrity is a better word that eminent] life is a dream for those who want to become popular.

1) That seems a bit awkward. I am not sure how to reword it, but give it some more thought.

2) Sentence structure is incorrect.

You need to revise some of your sentences. Also I think "celebrity" will work better than "eminent" for most your situation.

Hope this helps.

MountainHiker

Mishau · Answer

Thank you, MountainHiker. I find it to be very nice that there are only a few awkward parts in my essay, becuase writing on this topic was very hard for me as I have no opinoin about such a theme indeed. Nevertheless, this practice represents my gaps of knoledge in a bright light, which will give me a good chance to write better on issues I really want to.

The celebrity’s job brings good benefit accompanied by depletin g[tremendous?] nervous shocks [that] exhaust people's attention.[not sure if my changes reflect your thinking] -

No wonder, it was the most difficult statement I tried to invent. I tried to use "parallelism" I read about from your link. As a result, the whole sentence was ruind.

I will reword this one right now, but it will take me a little time to work out the whole essay.

The celebrity’s job brings good incomes, which are, alas, accompanied by nervous exhaustion from dealing with the managers, on one hand, and by wasting attantion from the direction of ordinary people on the other.

Parallelism doesn't go again.

.

Thank you again.

MountainHiker · Answer

Hi Mishau,

The celebrity’s job brings good incomes, which are, alas, accompanied by nervous exhaustion from dealing with the managers, on one hand, and by wasting attantion from the direction of ordinary people on the other.

That's a whopper of a sentence. If it were me, I would simply try to break things up a little bit.

A celebrity's job earns a good income. Unfortunately, besides earning a good income the celebrity must deal with overly hyper managers and excessive demands of their wanting public.

In your original sentence, you seem to be saying that a good income is accompanied by nervous exhaustion. It sounds awkward to me.

Also, your two hands seems a bit awkward to me. You usually use the two hands when you have contrasting ideas or statements. But your statements seem complimentary in that both are excessive and demanding.

Moscow is on one hand very warm in the summer with very long days but on the other hand Moscow is very cold with long nights in the winter.

If I were you at this point of your English learning, I would tend to focus on shorter, less complex sentences. With practice and familiarity, the longer complex sentences will come. But don't force it.

MountainHiker

Mishau · Answer

Hi, MountainHiker. Thank you for your comments, they have given me some new idea and before I begin a revision of my essay, would you please answer another important for me question?

[1] [2] An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi [are] always trying to research your private life.

I'm not exclude I can be mistaken. Your correction turns this sentence into a cause-and-effect relation. It looks like the paparazzi cause the stresses. Your second "as" I can understand as "because". Besides, you replaced my participle "trying" with "to be trying" - a verb in the present continuous. I've come across such a grammar misunderstanding at least twice. Once I used a remark "I don't trust him talking about that" and I was corrected that I had to say "I don't trust HIS talking about that". I was said that I had not used the pronoun "he" with a gerund(!) properly. What is the point?

Anyway, it gives me something to ponder over. So, turning back to my statement, I would give my explanation of it in the following way: a continuous chain of stresses is an inalienable attrubite of their job, as well as paparazzi, who won't lose the chance to fish out something sensational from your private life.

Thank you again.

Mike.

MountainHiker · Answer

mishau,

You have raised a couple points, so let's go through them.

Original:

An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi always trying to research your private life.

Modified:

An endless number of stresses are as much a part of this job as paparazzi [are] always trying to research your private life.

The phrase, "paparazzi always trying to research your private life" doesn't quite make sense. You need to bridge "paparazzi" and "trying to research your private life."

I don't know how to explain this, but you need the word "are" there.

It looks like the paparazzi cause the stresses. Your second "as" I can understand as "because". Besides, you replaced my participle "trying" with "to be trying" - a verb in the present continuous.

Are we referring to what I wrote above? I don't see what you are referring to. I simply added the word "are", where it is necessary.

So, turning back to my statement, I would give my explanation of it in the following way: a continuous chain of stresses is an inalienable attrubite of their job, as well as paparazzi, who won't lose the chance to fish out something sensational from your private life.

The paparazzi, who are always trying discover something personal that embarrasing or sensational, are just one of the many stresses that celebrities must endure.

Original: I don't trust him talking about that.

Modified: I don't trust HIS talking about that.

You might want to put this question in the ESL section.

It's a question of emphasis. You don't trust him. [choose original] Or you don't trust what he is talking about. [choose modified]

It's a subtle point. Most native English speakers would probably choose the original without thinking about it. But the more "strict" writers would choose the modified version.

I hope this information helps to clarify matters. Please write back with any questions you might have.

MountainHiker

Mishau · Answer

Hello, MountainHiker,
Thank you for your last comments. I decided that the best way to use complex grammar structures is not to use them at all, but it doesn't prove easy

I tried to rewrite the essay nearly ultimately.

Sweet Life of Celebrities

Gloss and shine coming out from almost all eminent people are at the same time the obstacles that do not leave any chances for us to realize what the stars are like indeed. Seeing only one, light-headed part of their lives may be a reason why we have deep prejudice and deceptive illusions about the lives of celebrities. It is a typical way for us to think that the stars live in clover, while in reality, their happiness is not so unclouded, as we tend to think that it is.

In fact, the live of the star represents itself as a constant struggle between banal routines and great attempts to avoid them. We know any work to bring joy if we have inspiration. However, it is very hard to be happy when making recording of only one song takes you 2-3 months and making a film episode forces you to go through about 15 takes. Besides, a job of that kind supposes you to communicate with managers - the people who disregard the fact that you are the star and consider you to be only their business partner. As a result, collisions of ambitions are inevitable to happen frequently. A never-ending train of stresses is as much a part of this job as paparazzi, who are always trying to dig up something savory from your private life. Therefore, the passion of many actors and musicians for alcohol or drugs is not something that leads to a rock-n-roll, easy-going life. It is a simple desire to hide a grief by drinking or shooting. We know a lot of cases of running away from such tiresome reality. The celebrity’s job brings a good income, undoubtedly; but it also brings nervous exhaustion caused by exorbitant demands of the wanting public.

One of the most important reasons which make people keep an eye on everything that happens to celebrities is their marvelous lives: expensive clothes, eminent restaurants, splendid cars, luxurious villas and castles, ultramodern swimming pools, and a lot of other things we can hardly afford. Lavish costumes, to which we pay most of our attention, have become the object of our worship. Rewarding ceremonies and presentation festivals have turned into parades of extravagant clothes. All the celebrations gathering the stars are nothing more than fairs of vanity and arrogance, which is expressed in wearing those hardly affordable clothes from also eminent couturiers and modelers. Indeed, not many of us probably know that all the dresses, which cost a fortune, and which the stars demonstrate on their greatest receptions, advertise the work of dress designers and do not belong to their wearers. The stars rent the dresses because they cannot simply buy them earning at the most half a million dollars for each role.

Revelry, singing, dancing, smiling are now the usual environment of any presentations or club parties or something where we can see a lot of celebrities. This cannot escape the attention of the press, which always informs us who has raised a new scandal or who has split up; and looking at this, we think that star life is a dream for those who want to become popular.

Thank you.

MountainHiker · Answer

Sweet Life of Celebrities

Gloss and shine coming out from almost all eminent people are at the same time the obstacles that do not leave any chances for us to realize what the stars are like indeed. [This first sentence is very awkward. You have to follow the sentence very carefully to see what you are trying to say.] Seeing only one [what?], light-headed part of their lives may be a reason why we have deep prejudice and deceptive illusions about the lives of celebrities. It is a typical way for us to think that the stars live in clover, while in reality, their happiness is not so unclouded [awkward word], as we tend to think that it is.

The artificial smiles and the dazzling clothes and the seemingly happy personalities of famous people all serve to hide their true and personal lives. While we might think their lives are all peaches and cream, the reality is often much different.

In fact, the live of the star represents itself as a constant struggle between banal routines and great attempts to avoid them. We know any work to bring joy if we have inspiration.[awkward prior sentence.] However, it is very hard to be happy when making recording of only one song takes you 2-3 months and making a film episode forces you to go through about 15 takes.[maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.?] Besides, a job of that kind supposes you to communicate with managers - the people who disregard the fact that you are the star and consider you to be only their business partner. As a result, collisions of ambitions are inevitable to happen frequently.[“collisions of ambitions”?] A never-ending train of stresses is as much a part of this job as paparazzi, who are always trying to dig up something savory from your private life. Therefore, the passion of many actors and musicians for alcohol or drugs is not something that leads to a rock-n-roll, easy-going life. It is a simple desire to hide a grief by drinking or shooting. We know a lot of cases of running away from such tiresome reality. The celebrity’s job brings a good income, undoubtedly[,] but it also brings nervous exhaustion caused by exorbitant demands of the wanting public.

One of the most important reasons which make people keep an eye on everything that happens to celebrities is their marvelous lives: expensive clothes, [fancy] restaurants, splendid cars, luxurious villas and castles, ultramodern swimming pools, and a lot of other things we can hardly afford.[awkward prior sentence…”one of the most”] Lavish costumes, to which we pay most of our attention, have become the object of our worship.[???] Rewarding ceremonies and presentation festivals have turned into parades of extravagant clothes. All the celebrations gathering the stars are nothing more than fairs of vanity and arrogance, which is expressed in wearing those hardly affordable clothes from also eminent couturiers and modelers. Indeed, not many of us probably know that all the dresses, which cost a fortune, and which the stars demonstrate on their greatest receptions, advertise the work of dress designers and do not belong to their wearers. The stars rent the dresses because they cannot simply buy them earning at the most half a million dollars for each role.

Revelry, singing, dancing, smiling are now the usual environment of any presentations or club parties or something where we can see a lot of celebrities. This cannot escape the attention of the press, which always informs us who has raised a new scandal or who has split up; and looking at this, we think that star life is a dream for those who want to become popular.

Thank you.

Mishau,

This still seems like you are trying to be too fancy. You use “eminent” far too frequently. It is an uncommon word in English, so every time it is used, we notice it. If it occurs more than once, we really notice it.

I think you have to use what you think is best. We have reviewed this essay a few times now and we need to move on to something else.

MountainHiker

Mishau · Answer

Hello MountainHiker. Thank you very much indeed. I have worked at the all mistakes in my essay and I'm going to write a new one.

As for expressions I use, I come across them now and then reading on-line newspapers and books. For example,

to live in clover
http://www.guardian.co.uk/eu/story/0,7369,1203412,00.html

unclouded happiness
http://www.online-literature.com/forster/howards_end/33/

Are there any methods how to use them? Although, I can find out about that at the neighboring rubrics.

So, thank you again for your attention.

MountainHiker · Answer

There is no easy way to learn expressions other than reading a lot of English books etc., and speaking with native English speakers.

You have to be careful and not use unfamiliar expressions too much. One per essay is okay, but when you go beyond that, it begins to sound awkward. I used "peaches and cream" and that is okay ONCE. If I then used a few more "expressions" it would sound awkward.

You don't want to use "peaches and cream"
then
to live in clover
and then
unclouded happiness
and then
flat as a pancake
and then
happy as a lark
and then
....

It sounds like you are forcing them into your speech. They shoud be used sparingly. When you read an article and find an 'expression" you will note that an expression is only given once, or they all follow the same theme. By same theme, they all deal with clover or whatever.

So be careful.

MountainHiker

Mishau · Answer

Thank you for your recomendation, MountainHiker. I will take it into consideration.

Sweet Life of Celebrities. Would you please glance over it?

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