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Hellbent4u Posted 22 years ago
Surprise mail..!! (a poem)
this is a poem i wrote for a girl whom i couldn't talk for two years though she was in same batch....but one day her one mail changed the things.
from the world of oblivian, came a mail...
brought along a lovely tail.
Wasn’t an ordinary post…by any mean
Bcuz it paved a path
For something that had never been.
our familiarity...got a kick-start,
...a kind of start, that i never thought.
Not to forget the happiness
…that it also brought.
Made me relish every bit of it….
And has made me really think
whether this friendship-toast
….will last till the brink…
but y to fret over it
let the apprehensions be in the pit
wat matters is
the grace and the bliss
that has been dawning on me
every morning
when i get ur mail to see...
lemme tell u one thing
Your mail’s added a zing
Not only in my internship
But also in our friendship
the way u reply
goes on to imply
...how much u care,
for all, and not just the rare..
i don't know...
how long this chain's gonna go,
wat i know is
"yeh dil maange more..."
(in hindi language last line means...heart cravin for more...!!)
from the world of oblivian, came a mail...
brought along a lovely tail.
Wasn’t an ordinary post…by any mean
Bcuz it paved a path
For something that had never been.
our familiarity...got a kick-start,
...a kind of start, that i never thought.
Not to forget the happiness
…that it also brought.
Made me relish every bit of it….
And has made me really think
whether this friendship-toast
….will last till the brink…
but y to fret over it
let the apprehensions be in the pit
wat matters is
the grace and the bliss
that has been dawning on me
every morning
when i get ur mail to see...
lemme tell u one thing
Your mail’s added a zing
Not only in my internship
But also in our friendship
the way u reply
goes on to imply
...how much u care,
for all, and not just the rare..
i don't know...
how long this chain's gonna go,
wat i know is
"yeh dil maange more..."
(in hindi language last line means...heart cravin for more...!!)
Top answer
'Surprise Mail' is a nice idea for a poem, HB. You really need to correct your spelling and capitalization, especially the very irritating small 'i' instead of capital 'I', and 'u' instead of 'you'. Also, try to rephrase the slang words, like 'kick-start', 'zing' and 'gonna', which do not go well with more formal language like 'grace', 'bliss' and 'internship'.
- 'Surprise Mail' is a nice idea for a poem, HB.
- You really need to correct your spelling and capitalization, especially the very irritating small 'i' instead of capital 'I', and 'u' instead of 'you'.
- Also, try to rephrase the slang words, like 'kick-start', 'zing' and 'gonna', which do not go well with more formal language like 'grace', 'bliss' and 'internship'.
- This slang will soon disappear anyway, so your great poetry would be unappreciated by its readers in the year 2500.
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2 Answers
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'Surprise Mail' is a nice idea for a poem, HB. You really need to correct your spelling and capitalization, especially the very irritating small 'i' instead of capital 'I', and 'u' instead of 'you'. Also, try to rephrase the slang words, like 'kick-start', 'zing' and 'gonna', which do not go well with more formal language like 'grace', 'bliss' and 'internship'. This slang will soon disappear a
00
Netspeak is taking over!!!!
On the flip side I agree with Mister M... It's an excellent idea for a poem, truly inspired.
-=raised=-
The world was plodding along
I was working for the man
Doing what I can
The phones were ringing and the world kept bringing
A happy little song or some animation, colourful creation.
I snored, bored. who ca
On the flip side I agree with Mister M... It's an excellent idea for a poem, truly inspired.
-=raised=-
The world was plodding along
I was working for the man
Doing what I can
The phones were ringing and the world kept bringing
A happy little song or some animation, colourful creation.
I snored, bored. who ca
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