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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Vocabulary
summary
HI, can someone please check my grammar.
Summary short
Loong joins a loan shark syndicate to provide for his family at the expense of his relationship with his sister, who enrolled in police academy instead.
Summary Long
To provide for and protect his family, Loong joins the loan shark syndicate. A special task force assigned to wipe out loan shark approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly. While Loong does his undercover work, his sister join the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
Summary short
Loong joins a loan shark syndicate to provide for his family at the expense of his relationship with his sister, who enrolled in police academy instead.
Summary Long
To provide for and protect his family, Loong joins the loan shark syndicate. A special task force assigned to wipe out loan shark approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly. While Loong does his undercover work, his sister join the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
Top answer
It might be more natural to say: To provide for and protect his family, Loong joined a loan shark syndicate. A special task force assigned to wipe the syndicate out approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly. While Loong was doing his undercover work, his sister joined the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
- It might be more natural to say: To provide for and protect his family, Loong joined a loan shark syndicate.
- A special task force assigned to wipe the syndicate out approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly.
- While Loong was doing his undercover work, his sister joined the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
- it is ungrammatical to say 'his sister join', it has to be 'joins' or 'joined', but since you but befriended in past tense you would have to say joined, however if you were to put 'befriends' then you could use 'joins'
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3 Answers
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It might be more natural to say:
To provide for and protect his family, Loong joined a loan shark syndicate. A special task force assigned to wipe the syndicate out approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly. While Loong was doing his undercover work, his sister joined the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
it is ungrammati
To provide for and protect his family, Loong joined a loan shark syndicate. A special task force assigned to wipe the syndicate out approached Loong, requesting him to gather criminal evidence of the syndicate secretly. While Loong was doing his undercover work, his sister joined the syndicate and befriended his sworn enemy Black Dog.
it is ungrammati
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Thanks, Anonymous. How if I want to change the whole sentence to “present tense”? Please take a look the below revised story. Please correct me if I wrong. Thanks once again.
1. Loong joins a loan shark syndicate to provide for his family at the expense of his relationship with his sister, who enrolled in police academy instead.
2. To provide for and protect his family, Loong joins a
1. Loong joins a loan shark syndicate to provide for his family at the expense of his relationship with his sister, who enrolled in police academy instead.
2. To provide for and protect his family, Loong joins a
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