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Amandine Posted 21 years ago

Subtelty

0 Unique spark in the night 02br
00Source of light and warmth 02br
00among these deep darknesses 02br
00and the coldness of these places. 02br
00Unique trace of life 02br
00Bearer of an universal hope 02br
00to which a light breathing could 02br
00extinguish 02br
00for Ever. 0-
  

Top answer

-- they have very important functions too, and this piece is in dire need of a few of them. 02br 02br 00There is no reason to capitalize 'ever'. There is no reason to separate 'extinguish' and 'forever' into two lines-- it just wastes paper.

— Mister Micawber

  • -- they have very important functions too, and this piece is in dire need of a few of them.
  • 02br 02br 00There is no reason to capitalize 'ever'.
  • There is no reason to separate 'extinguish' and 'forever' into two lines-- it just wastes paper.
  • 'Universal' does not begin with a vowel sound, so the article should be 'a'.
  • 02br 02br 00'These places' is unimaginably vague-- can't you give us ANY idea of what and where they are?
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3 Answers
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0Why do you accept the period as a punctuation mark but ignore the comma, semicolon and colon?-- they have very important functions too, and this piece is in dire need of a few of them. 02br
02br
00There is no reason to capitalize 'ever'. There is no reason to separate 'extinguish' and 'forever' into two lines-- it just wastes paper. 'Universal' does not begin with a vowel
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0 you're kind of critic, but i'll take that as a helpful critic!!! 02br
00to be honest, these poems have been translated from my native language and this is actually the first time I try to write a poem in english. 0-
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1blockquote
00this is actually the first time I try to write a poem in english12blockquote
12br
02br
00Good for you! Keep at it. I wrote a poem in Spanish once-- thankfully, it remains a long-lost manuscript. 0-
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