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Coco le Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing

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"...How can they survive in the society without jobs? So in a word, our country need to take some measures to optimize industrial structure and develop people's awareness of protecting environment. Try to maintain balance between human beings and those existing ecosystems.What's more, urge factories to attach great importance to their producing process. Try their best to make the manufacturing process more environmental friendly. Unswervingly pursue the scientific outlook on development, and build an environmental-friendly society."

Is there any advice on the improvement this part of an essay in terms of "a good essay"? What would you say to convince your students?

I suppose you could guess what are omitted before the first sentence. If you need those words, I could post them later as required.
  

Top answer

How can they survive in the society without jobs? ) and develop people's awareness of protecting the environment. Try to maintain balance between human beings and those existing ecosystems .

— AlpheccaStars

  • How can they survive in the society without jobs?
  • ) and develop people's awareness of protecting the environment.
  • Try to maintain balance between human beings and those existing ecosystems .
  • ).
  • ) urge factories to attach great importance to their producing process.
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6 Answers
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"...How can they survive in the society without jobs? So in a word, our country need to take some measures to optimize industrial structure (I have no idea what "optimize industrial structure" means.) and develop people's awareness of protecting the environment. Try to maintain balance between human beings and those existing ecosystem
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Could they be regarded as sentences with omitted subjects, like imperative sentences?
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coco leCould they be regarded as sentences with omitted subjects, like imperative sentences?
Yes, but the context needs to define who you are talking about.

Father: Son, you are getting to be an adult now, and I would like to give you my secrets to a long healthy life.
Forgive and forget.
Always tell your boss that he's right.
Get a dog
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I think the context points towards "our country". Is it not obvious? (I thought it is.)

It seems that you are quoting a dialogue between father and son. Spoken language is quite different from written language, though I can see what you are getting at.

It is quite common to see sentences like slogans at end of a student's essay. These slogans are often proposals students make af
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coco leI think the context points towards "our country". Is it not obvious?
You probably mean the president, the ministers, the congress or parliament, and the government officials, collectively "the government".
They are the persons responsible for making the laws and spending the tax money that is collected. What laws would you recommend? How should t
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It is quite common to see sentences like slogans at end of a student's essay. These slogans are often proposals students make after elaborating their points in response to a controversial topic.

Really? I've never seen this in an essay.To me it seems odd and inappropriate. Do you know of a country where students are taught to write this way?
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