Struggling with these 4 sentences need help with grammar

Question

Could you please help me with this. I'm struggleing with the structure and grammar. thank you

1 Pushing your dentist appointment back a month will not only affect the alignment of your teeth but you'll be pushing the end day of treatment back a month. The less you tighten the braces the less staight your teeth become in a shorter timeframe.

2 My big purchase didn't go unnotice. I felt it. It set me back and really hurt my budget.

3 The jury will pick who they think is the best and wins.

4 He decided to stop using his CB for a week as he didn't know where he was at financially. As everytime you use your CB, the bank doesn't take the amount into account, so your balance is more than it should be.

If I had to pick one player to be American, I'd say it was him who's from the US.

thank you

Avangi · Accepted Answer

alc24 1 Pushing your dentist appointment back a month will not only affect the alignment of your teeth but you'll be pushing the end day of treatment back a month. The less you tighten the braces the less staight your teeth become in a shorter timeframe.

2 My big purchase didn't go unnoticed. I felt it. It set me back , really hurting ~~and really hurt~~ my budget. Congratulations on the short sentences! Sometimes they're what's needed.
I prefer the participial phrase here. It functions to explain "It set me back." Your version makes it sound like two different ideas.

3 The jury will pick who they think is the best and wins. I suppose this is grammatically possible, but it's logically redundant. It's like saying, "I'll vote for the person I pick."
Perhaps you mean to describe two different processes: (1) a discussion leading to a consensus; (2) a vote.
The jury will vote to pick the winner, based on who they think is best.

4 He decided to stop using his CB for a week , as he didn't know where he was at financially. ~~As everytime you use your CB, the bank doesn't take the amount into account, so your balance is more than it should be.~~ He suspected the bank was often late in posting the debits to his account.

If I had to pick one player to be American, I'd say it was ~~him~~ he who's from the US. This may be grammatical, but it's neither logical nor natural. "If I had to guess the one player who's American, I'd say it's the one from the US."
(Was this number 5?)

Alc24 · Answer

Hello Avangi,

Thank you for the corrections for of all, I had 2 questions please?

1 Is the sentence correct or would you change it a bit? " will not only affect the alignment of your teeth but (you'll/would) be pushing the end day of treatment back a month. The less you tighten the braces the less staight your teeth become in a shorter timeframe.

Is there a problem with the bold bits?

4 can you say "Since the bank is late in posting your debits to your account, your balance might read more than you have in your account"

Thank you Avangi

Avangi · Answer

alc241 Pushing your dentist appointment back a month will not only affect the alignment of your teeth but you'll be pushing the end day of treatment back a month. The less you tighten the braces the less staight your teeth become in a shorter timeframe.

There's no problem with the first sentence.
Doing X will do Y and you'll be doing Z.

Everybody knows about the dentist, but technically you could say the second sentence is ambiguous.
If you take the position that less straight equals more crooked, I suppose someone could think your teeth are becoming more crooked.
You're sort of flirting with "to become less straight," which would mean "to become more crooked."
It's very unlikely, and I wouldn't worry about it.
I'd probably say something like, "The less you tighten the braces the less will be the straightening effect on your teeth."
This doesn't distinguish between the time factor and the tightening factor. You could tighten more, but less frequently.
If you wish to focus on the time factor, you could say, "The less frequently you tighten the braces, the less will be the straightening effect on your teeth over a given period of time."

alc24 "Since the bank is late in posting your debits to your account, your balance might read more than you have in your account"

This is really a can of worms. I suggest you read the way the banks phrase it.
From one point of view, the money is not "in your account" until it's "posted to your account."
There are various ways the money can be in limbo between the time it leaves your hands and the time it's in your account. It's all a matter of definition.
Most of the new ATM's instantly credit your account with cash deposits, for example. I mean instantly!
You just have to read the fine print.
If you're Emailing your friend who is upset about it, say what you think is appropriate, but you should probably leave the translations to the lawyers.

Funds deposited as checks may not be available for withdrawal for 24 hours. (Something like that is fairly clear and useful.)
Are you depositing cash or checks? Are the checks local or "out of state"? Are you depositing through a teller, an ATM, or the mail?

Your sentence reads badly, but I see no point in trying to improve it when the facts you're trying to express are unclear.

When you say "your balance might read," what do you mean by "read"? Are you reading it online at the bank's website, or on an ATM, or on your mailed statement?

Alc24 · Answer

Hello Avangi,

Amazing explantion,

but this is what I'm trying to say:

Lets say you've paid for something by cheque and then you go to an atm and ask for your balance.

You're balance hasn't taken the cheque into account so you balance reads/is/shows more than you actually have in your account.

Something like that?

Avangi · Answer

I get that.

But who is speaking to whom??

Is this the bank advising customers? Is it you trying to help a confused friend?

Are you trying to cover every possible contingency, or just the one particular scenario you describe above? (Even that one would require a lot of explanation to be complete and accurate.)

Alc24 · Answer

So you basically give a cheque to a friend to help them out.

Then you go to your bank adviser and talk about your balance.

You say: I just wrote a cheque for 1000 dollars.

Your adviser says : You're balance hasn't taken the cheque into account as you just wrote it so your balance reads/is/shows more than you actually have in your account. Tomorrow your balance will have been updated as the cheque and other transactions that you may have done will have been posted to your account.

Can you correct the bold but "I'd like to stick to this phrasing."

Does this make sense and natural? "I'd like to stick to this phrasing"

Thank you so much Avangi

Avangi · Answer

alc24"I'd like to stick to this phrasing"

This is correct and natural.

If my adviser delivered the bold speech to me, I'd immediately switch banks.

It's awkward in the extreme. It's beyond repair. What do you mean by "this phrasing"? Good Heavens!

Why do you keep insisting on this "more than you actually have in your account" concept?

The money is in your account until it's taken out. Okay?

If you write a bunch of bad checks and mail them to Cuba, the money will ACTUALLY continue to be in your account for several days. I think what we essentially disagree about is your understanding of "actually."
I just mailed you a check for $1000. Actually, the check is no good, because I only have $500 in my account.
(I'd say that use of "actually" is correct.)

Why not make it even more absurd? : All my checks have cleared. The ATM says my balance is $2500. Day after tomorrow I'm planning to write a check for $1000 as downpayment on a car, so my actual balance is only $1500.
(This use of "actual" is all in your mind.)

I don't keep up with the current terminology, but if I were the advisor, I'd say, "Here's your current balance, Alex. Our records show that the check you're asking about hasn't come in yet."

Anybody who doesn't understand that shouldn't have a checking account.

If your purpose is to practice English by explaining simple things to complete morons, then slow down. Use more than two sentences. Go step by step.

You seem to understand the way a checking account works, but I don't think you'd be able to explain it to someone who doesn't. Keeping the existing phrasing is out of the question.

You're balance hasn't taken the cheque into account as you just wrote it so your balance reads/is/shows more than you actually have in your account. Tomorrow your balance will have been updated as the cheque and other transactions that you may have done will have been posted to your account.

- A.

I'm reminded of the lady who said, "I can't possibly be out of money!
There are still three checks left in my check book!"

Alc24 · Answer

I understand what you are saying.

But like you say I'm trying to convey what is going on in the mind.
(This use of "actual" is all in your mind.)

I know that until the cheque is deposited your balance is X and not Y,

but since you know you've written a cheque,

your mind knows your balance isn't X but X minus the cheque you wrote.

Your balance reads/is/shows more than you actually have in your account. (your mind thinking?)

Are we on the same page, Am i expressing my thoughts properly?

One last thing please, Does this make sense if in context? the underlined part??

But like you say I'm trying to convey what is going on in the mind.
(This use of "actual" is all in your mind.)

Thank you

Avangi · Answer

There's nothing wrong with mind games, but I think it's a bad idea to misuse "actual" when you're messing with somebody else's money.

Alc24 · Answer

Obviously, but if you're talking about your own money.

I don't know if you think this sentence is correct?
the underlined bit?

But like you say I'm trying to convey what is going on in the mind.

hypothetically, if you were talking about your own money could you say this?

Your balance reads/is/shows more than you actually have in your account.

All I want to know is if you could use either "read is show" like that in a sentence?

Thank you

Struggling with these 4 sentences need help with grammar

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