structure problems ,please HELP !thanks a lot

Question

1.the first paragraph:it goes without saying that ________(a general statement).as to the question _______(the question the essay topic asked),i am of the opinion that _______(my point of view) the second paragraph:first of all________________(give my first reason)
the third paragraph:the second irreplaceable advantage i have to mention is _______(give another reason) the fourth paragraph:last but not least__________(the last reason) the final paragraph:in view of the above facts,hardly can we deny that___________(conclusion)
2.the balanced-view topic essay,just like"when famous people such as actors ,athletes and rock stars give their opinions,many people listen .do you think we should pay attention to these opinions ?use specific reasons and examples to support your answer" can i use this structure:the first paragraph:when it comes to the question whether we should pay attention to celebrities" opinions.some people hold that____(one kind of viewpoint),but the others ,on the other hand ,insist that _____(the other kind of viewpoint).as far as i am concerned,i am of the opinion that we should strike a balance between the two opinions depending on the specific situations.the second para:it is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows in their life-time,and we can learn a lot from their rich experience.______(state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems) the third para:however ,they are not experts in every field,and their speech may contain some biases towards something.so we can not adhere to their own opinions all the time.______(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes)the final para:all in all ,we should keep in mind we can not believe everything the famous people said while absorb their essence in thier speech ,so that we can______(conclusion) so what about my structures,is is appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

Lawthinker · Accepted Answer

thank you very much,i am very anxious now

MountainHiker · Answer

Lawthinker,

What is it that you are looking for? This appears to be some sort of homework problem?

Also, if you could break up the text so that it is easier to read, that would be helpful. Maybe have some spaces between the sentences or something. It might be that I am tired and getting ready for bed too.

Let us know how we can help.

Lawthinker · Answer

OK,MR mountainhiker,i am preparing for the writing essay of TOEFL test designed by ETS(from USA) and there only remains 20 days to the test date.here are 2 structures i often use in my essay:1.stands for the first structure.2.stands for the second one
1.the first paragraph:it goes without saying that ________(a general statement). as to the question _______(the question the essay topic asked), i am of the opinion that _______(my point of view) the second paragraph:first of all________________(give my first reason)
the third paragraph:the second irreplaceable advantage i have to mention is _______(give another reason) the fourth paragraph:last but not least__________(the last reason) the final paragraph:in view of the above facts,hardly can we deny that___________(conclusion)

2.the balanced-view topic essay,just like"when famous people such as actors ,athletes and rock stars give their opinions,many people listen .do you think we should pay attention to these opinions ?use specific reasons and examples to support your answer" can i use this structure:the first paragraph:when it comes to the question whether we should pay attention to celebrities" opinions. some people hold that____(one kind of viewpoint),but the others , on the other hand ,insist that _____(the other kind of viewpoint). as far as i am concerned,i am of the opinion that we should strike a balance between the two opinions depending on the specific situations. the second para:it is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows in their life-time,and we can learn a lot from their rich experience. ______(state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems) the third para:however ,they are not experts in every field,and their speech may contain some biases towards something.so we can not adhere to their own opinions all the time. ______(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes) the final para:all in all ,we should keep in mind we can not believe everything the famous people said while absorb their essence in thier speech ,so that we can______(conclusion) so what about my structures,is is appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

MountainHiker · Answer

OK, MR mountainhiker,i am preparing for the writing essay of TOEFL test designed by ETS(from USA) and there only remains 20 days to the test date.here are 2 structures i often use in my essay:1.stands for the first structure.2.stands for the second one

1st Form

the first paragraph:

it goes without saying that ________(a general statement). as to the qu

1st Form

the first paragraph:

it goes without saying that ________(a general statement). as to the question _______(the question the essay topic asked), i am of the opinion that ______(my point of view)

the second paragraph:first of all_______________(give my first reason)

the third paragraph:the second irreplaceable advantage i have to mention is ______(give another reason)

the fourth paragraph:last but not least________(the last reason)

the final paragraph:in view of the above facts,hardly can we deny that__________(conclusion)

2.the balanced-view topic essay,

just like"when famous people such as actors ,athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen.

do you think we should pay attention to these opinions? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer"

Can i use this structure:

the first paragraph:
when it comes to the question whether we should pay attention to celebrities" opinions. some people hold that____(one kind of viewpoint),but the others , on the other hand ,insist that _____(the other kind of viewpoint). as far as i am concerned, i am of the opinion that we should strike a balance between the two opinions depending on the specific situations.

the second para:it is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows in their life-time,and we can learn a lot from their rich experience. _____ (state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems)

the third para:however, they are not experts in every field, and their speech may contain some biases towards something, so we can not adhere to their own opinions all the time. ____(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes)

the final para: all in all,we should keep in mind we can not believe everything the famous people said while absorb their essence in thier speech ,so that we can_____(conclusion) so what about my structures,is is appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

I hope you don't mind I broke it up a bit so I could digest it easier. One more small request, please use capital letters at the beginning of sentences. It really helps me to pick up things more quickly.

Okay, so now let's address your questions.

1) Can you use the second structure? Sure, I think you can. It looks good to me.

2) Your general structure looks fine to me, though I would be writing a different essay. If I were given the same task, I would question as to why a celebrity has any more expertise in a different field than the average person does. But this isn't the question you are asking. If you argue your viewpoints as you have given them here, I think you should do fine. Am I answering your question?

I am going to repeat and revise your second structure.

2.the balanced-view topic essay,

Topic: Many people listen to the opinions of famous people such as actors, athletes, and rock stars.

Question: Do you think we should pay attention to their opinions? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1st Para:

When it comes to the question whether we should value celebrities' opinions, some people insist that____(one kind of viewpoint), while the others insist that _____(the other kind of viewpoint). As far as I am concerned, I believe that we should strike a balance between the two opinions that will depend on the specific situation.

2nd Para:

It is undeniable that those famous people have experienced various bitters and sorrows [or highs and lows] during their lives, and we can learn a lot from their rich experiences. _____ (state that we should sometimes pay attention to their understanding of life and attitudes towards some social problems.)

3rd para:

However, they are not experts in every field, and their opinions [you started in para 1 with opinions] may contain biases, so we should not follow their opinions without our own serious consideration. ____(state that we should sometimes ignore their attitudes)

Final para:

All in all , we should keep in mind that we can not believe everything famous people while we consider the essence of their opinion, [here I am lost] so that we can_____(conclusion).

So what about my structures, is it appropriate for american way of thinking? thank you very much!

As mentioned above, I think you are doing okay as far as your structure is concerned. Obviously you need to develop your essay more, but the general outline is solid. You also need to have examples. We tend to support our argument with the use of examples. Give me examples where a celebrity has made a huge difference outside of his specialty. For example, Bono of rock band U2 has done tremendous work for Africa. Give us an example of where a celebrity has no clue about what he or she is talking about. This latter request is probably more difficult because most people don't speak up unless they have at least some level of knowledge and familiarity with the issue.

Am I answering your question?

Lawthinker · Answer

thank you,mountainhiker,for your good analysis.BTW,WHAT  Do you mean by sayig "that we can not believe everything famous people while we consider the essence of their opinion, [here I am lost] "               what do you mean:"i am lost"

MountainHiker · Answer

Hi Lawthinker,

thank you,mountainhiker,for your good analysis.BTW,WHAT Do you mean by sayig "that we can not believe everything famous people while we consider the essence of their opinion, [here I am lost] " what do you mean:"i am lost"

.

Okay, sorry I didn't explain that well.

In your original post, you wrote the following:

all in all ,we should keep in mind we can not believe everything the famous people said while absorb their essence in thier speech ,so that we can_____(conclusion) so what about my structures,is is appropriate for american way of thinking?

To be honest, I did not properly understand what you had written. So where I have written, "I am lost." that meant that I did not understand your point.

["I am lost" is a common expression in English to mean "I don't understand." If you are sitting in your university class studying partial derivatives, there may be times when you are lost. Obviously, you know where you are. But the subject matter is confusing. So then you need to study more or ask a friend to explain what the professor had taught.]

Here's what I do understand:

1) You should NOT believe EVERYTHING famous people say
2) You want to learn/absorb their lessons in life (essence of their speech?)
3) So that we can ? (here I don't know what you want to conclude)

I would need to see more of your thoughts before I could provide more input.

I hope that explanation helps.

structure problems ,please HELP !thanks a lot

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