Strange sentence constructions

Question

The parts I have written in bold do confuse me, for I am unsure as to whether they are correct. Could you verify that they are in fact correct, that the ambiguity I have about them be forever forgotten. Thank you teachers.

After having reminded ourselves of the time that had Mary supplant Edward as the interlocutor of our seminar, both Elysnai and I saw her as having a disposition replete with such ripe maturity; the likes of which can be found only in the most accomplished of our coterie here in Maldur. Though, despite this, we are all somewhat blind to the deceit of priest Edgar; as it is now with great joy exhumed that I tell you that this man standing beside me is not blind, for it turns out that like me, he too is wise, and over the weeks and months that have had time acclimate our relationship, it was our conjoined wisdom that had us decipher the cunningness of his plans to have this senate, the effigy of your father, and this very carpet on which we stand dissolved into nothingness, and ourselves consumed by an evil praxium of that whose name Edgar tells us not. And yet with his hands, feet and head shackled to this manacle, and death in his third eye, still has he no intention of sharing it with his majesty. I had hoped that the fickle vagaries laid manifest in his principia, to which Elysnai and I had with fragrant favour vanquished, would have soon afterwards fermented in the mind of his majesty, that he would have for himself seen the invocation of a satanical spirit, of which I can so confidently describe as being an edifice of sorts. It is this image that I sought to have laid in the written word; that I may have with lucid laconicism entrenched, every facet of its visceral countenance imbued in the minds of those whose curiosity should have themselves see the visions of demise both I and priest Edgar here have seen. Like you, father, he too had once been a man of power, but his sacrilege has now had him reduced to nothing but a vulnerable insect to which my heavy hand does wander.

Deadrat · Accepted Answer

I have taken your paragraph and cycled it through Google's translator from English to Hungarian three times. The results appear below and are about as coherent as the original:

<quote>
After Mary had time to squeeze remind Edward connecting seminars and Elysnai and saw that the disposition is full of such mature maturity; the likes of which we are only at the highest grouping Maldur. Though, despite all the fraud Edgar caring priest; as it is now with great pleasure exhumed to say that this man stands next to me, is not blind, it turns out that, like me, he is wise, and in the coming weeks and months, it was time to get used to contact it was the Siamese wisdom, I had to decipher the cunningness plan to do in the Senate, the image of the father and this very carpet on which we will have nothing to eat and a vicious praxium us is that whose name is Edgar says no. And yet in his hands, feet and head handcuffs handcuffed, and the death of the third eye, it did not intend to share with you his majesty. I was hoping to set the capricious whims evident in the Principia, which beat soon fermented in mind His Majesty that would have seen for himself the prayer of the satanic spirit that so confidently described as fragrant favor of a building Elysnai and it was bred. This image, which we come, laying the foundation of the written word; I am also clear that every aspect of the build laconicism visceral face pervades the minds of those who consider themselves to be falling out of curiosity, and I saw visions of Edgar priest here. As you, Father, he also used to be a man of power, but now the sacrilege him anything but defenseless insect that does not wander heavy hand.
</quote>

If I have your attention now, please tell me what you're trying to accomplish and who your audience is.

Anonymous · Answer

My aim is to write in my own personal archaic style that will have what I saw difficult for even a native reader of English to understand. I want my words to be shrouded amid difficult grammar that has a heir of pomposity and a dash of romance about it. My writing should also be occluded and hidden from sight, and only readable by those who have extensive knowledge of the English language beyond a two bit elementary school level. Only when I achieve this will I be above everyone else in my writing. What is write, therefore, deviates from the current sect of English that is only one step above the understanding that an illiterate has. I want my writing to be something new, as the writing that is found in every novel ever written is too simplistic for my liking.

With that said, I have by no means accomplished my goal. For now, however, please check through this piece of writing and highlight any mistakes, that I may further advance my understanding of your basic grammar in order for my own style to blossom.

The impulsion of the iconoclast August Comte, that had at its fundament the need for the reductionism of the scientific method to be assented in the social sciences, had created positivism as that which is defined today as being the philosophy of science, in which the logic of empiricism is to have dominion over all authoritative knowledge. The 1950s had Frederick Schaefer transform geography from its ideographic doctrine to that of a nomothetic doctrine, during which time a diaspora of the qualitative methods that Richard Hartshorne had entrenched in his book The Nature of Geography, came about by the truculent criticism of Frederik Schaefer in his paper Exceptionalism in Geography. It was in this paper that the condemning of such methods as the areal differentiation put forth by Hartshorne, had such methods thought of as nothing more than naïve description, above all exemplified by their incapability of describing the nuanced assemblages that had constituted to the identity of geographical regions. Also entrenched in this paper, was the need for geography to be conceived as the ‘science’ concerned with the formulation of laws governing the spatial distribution of certain features on the surface of the Earth (Schaefer, 1953). With this soon afterwards disseminated, Schaefer had now created a period of geography known today as being the quantitative revolution, and it is this era in which the sub-discipline of transport geography can be found.

Deadrat · Answer

OK, you want to be above everybody else in your writing, and you want to rub everybody else's noses in their inability to understand your idiosyncratic writing. If you're serious, then you're writing for an audience of one, yourself, so why are you here? And if this is an elaborate hoax (perhaps indicated by your phrase "heir of pomposity"), why are you so rude as to take people's time here? For the sake of argument, I'll assume you're serious. I find a number of problems with your endeavor.

Problem the First: You don't have the chops to pull it off. To see this, read a master, James Joyce. Try the "Oxen of the Sun" and "Proteus" chapters from Ulysses. In the former, Joyce mimics the styles of stages in the development of the English language from its Latin roots and Anglo-Saxon beginnings through contemporaneous slang. The conceit is that one of Joyce's protagonists, Bloom, is enquiring at a maternity hospital about the wife of a friend who's undergoing a difficult labor. The style changes are akin to the gestational changes of a developing fetus. It helps to understand if you can hear the sympathetic chord of Latin from the vibration of an English word of French origin. Caesar's language influences English directly from his conquest of Britain and indirectly from his conquest of Gaul. In the second chapter mentioned, work your way through Joyce's verbal depiction of a second protagonist's semi-verbal thought processes from the deeply philosophical musings about the "ineluctable modality of the visible" to matters quotidian. Contrast and compare to your own work.

Problem the Second: Difficulty of the Dive. What you're attempting is trivial. There are well over a million words in the English language. The effort of a master can slice meaning into the slenderest of connotations; the bumbling of an amateur can obfuscate beyond understanding. The former hard; the latter, nugatory. You're like a performer who says to the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to juggle a dozen *****. And by "juggle," I mean throwing them up in the air and letting them drop to the stage." How difficult is that?

Problem the Third: the ludicrous. If you're serious, you don't want people laughing at you. It's bad enough to get words wrong. (Don't you mean "trenchant" instead of truculent?) It's worse to get them so wrong that you write "occluded," which means blocked (when you probably mean occult, i.e., hidden) and "the fundament," which means **** (when you probably meant foundation.) Delicacy prevents me from telling you what the occlusion of the fundament has left you with.

If you're serious, you needn't be here; if you're not, you shouldn't be here.

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