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Contiluo Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Stop welcoming
Please help me correct the errors of the paragraph. Thanks!
There have been reports of violence occurring between shoppers on Black Friday. While most injuries remain minor, serious injuries and even deliberate violence have taken place on some Black Fridays, causing at least one city to ban the practice. Despite frequent attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, these problems never stop people from welcoming Black Friday every year.
There have been reports of violence occurring between shoppers on Black Friday. While most injuries remain minor, serious injuries and even deliberate violence have taken place on some Black Fridays, causing at least one city to ban the practice. Despite frequent attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, these problems never stop people from welcoming Black Friday every year.
Top answer
contiluo Despite frequent attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, these problems never stop people from welcoming Black Friday every year. The second clause in this sentence does not logically match the first. Apart from this, I see no errors.
- contiluo Despite frequent attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, these problems never stop people from welcoming Black Friday every year.
- The second clause in this sentence does not logically match the first.
- Apart from this, I see no errors.
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3 Answers
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contiluoDespite frequent attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, these problems never stop people from welcoming Black Friday every year.The second clause in this sentence does not logically match the first. Apart from this, I see no errors.
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How about by adding a sentence as follows:
There have been reports of violence occurring between shoppers on Black Friday. Minor injuries are common among the crowds, usually as a result of being pushed or thrown to the ground in small stampedes. While most injuries remain minor, serious injuries and even deliberate violence have taken place on some Black Fridays, causing at least
There have been reports of violence occurring between shoppers on Black Friday. Minor injuries are common among the crowds, usually as a result of being pushed or thrown to the ground in small stampedes. While most injuries remain minor, serious injuries and even deliberate violence have taken place on some Black Fridays, causing at least
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The extra sentence is fine, but the problem with the last sentence remains.
Despite attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, problems occur on Black Friday every year. Nevertheless, these problems don't stop people from coming out in droves to enjoy the Black Friday bargains.
Despite attempts to control the crowds of shoppers, problems occur on Black Friday every year. Nevertheless, these problems don't stop people from coming out in droves to enjoy the Black Friday bargains.
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