Status and state
Can you, please, help me with the following? Can you think of a better was to connect these two parts of the sentence?
On the basis of the results of an initial comparative survey conducted on 66 both Italian and foreign schools, the state of Italian school library as well as the status of the librarian themselves is being analyzed in the context of modern learning methods in educational practice.
Thank you in advance
Top answer
This sentence is far too busy. The writer has tried to cram in too much information. I have rewritten it in a way that I can understand.
- This sentence is far too busy.
- The writer has tried to cram in too much information.
- I have rewritten it in a way that I can understand.
- Note that I have used three sentences instead of just one..
- An initial comparative survey has been conducted on 66 schools, both Italian and foreign.
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This sentence is far too busy. The writer has tried to cram in too much information.
I have rewritten it in a way that I can understand. Note that I have used three sentences instead of just one..
An initial comparative survey has been conducted on 66 schools, both Italian and foreign. Based on this, the state of libraries in Italian schools is being analyzed,, as
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