Stating the purpose of my paper. Grammar check

Question

The purpose of this paper is to evaluate the “The Squid and the Whale” in terms of whether or not the portrayal of the family in this movie is realistic. The specific issues that will be discussed include the consequences of divorce on the children, father and mother.

Are there any grammar errors here?

Thank you in advance.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

It looks OK to me, Vicky.

Clive · Answer

. . . evaluate . . . in terms of . . . seem to me to be vague, wordy and ugly English.

How about this?.
eg This paper will decide whether the portrayal of the family in “The Squid and the Whale” is realistic. The specific issues that will be discussed include the consequences of divorce on the children, father and mother.

In my experience, it's better to be as simple and direct as you can. It's up to you, of course.

(include implies that there also other issues, not yet mentioned. If there are not, say 'are', not 'include' )

Clive

Stating the purpose of my paper. Grammar check

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