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Andrasabin Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Statement of Purpose - MSc Finance and Business Economics - UK
I kindly ask you that you provide me with some feedback on my Statement of Purpose. I am currently finishing my last year of my bachelor and hope to get into a masters program at my home university. Please don't think me rude for asking this, but if you could by any chance provide me with some critique as soon as possible, I would be quite grateful, as I am late as it is to hand in my application.
Thank you very much for your attention.
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My interest in the MSc program in Finance and Business Economics is the result of the convergence of two key aspects of my life. As a child I have many times hypothesized of myself one day running the family business. In order to pursue this goal I wish to get an accurate understanding of the market from both a financial and an economical perspective. Furthermore, I have found myself inspired by the teachings of the esteemed Dr. xxxx of xxxx University, my Corporate Budgeting professor during my year on exchange.
I am particularly interested in Mergers and Acquisitions and analyzing the Alternative Investment Market and the opportunities that this can provide both for national economic growth as well as for international corporate expansion. I have been able to develop my interests through group discussions during Trading and Investment Society meetings. I am also interested in IPO valuation and would like to broad my understanding of it. This is fueled by my interest in possibly floating the company family as a potential solution to expansion in the long-term.
I expect my average for my degree to be a 2.1 with my average for financial courses standing at 60 and that for economic courses at 68.
My bachelor degree in International Management with American Business Studies has provided me with the opportunity to develop my quantitative skills through taking a majority of my courses in Finance, Economics and Quantitative Methods. During my year on exchange I have improved my quantitative and analytical skills by taking an Operations Research and an Advanced Statistics course. Furthermore, I have improved both my knowledge of Finance as well as my organizational and analytical skills through working under high pressure during an intensive 3 weeks Advanced Corporate Finance Summer Course at xxxx.
I have worked with an experienced economist within xxxx and have done extensive market research and OLS forecasting of variables impacting company growth in order to aid her analysis. While working within the credit risk department at xxx Bank, I have been involved in both the examination of individual client applications, through financial statement analysis, as well as group risk, through portfolio monitoring. By working in teams of professionals with different background I have also been able to develop my communication and networking skills.
I am also an amateur art critic, and have always appreciated and tried to nurture innovation in both myself and in others. I am a fond player of basketball, and have been a dedicated member of a basketball team throughout university. I enjoy trading FX and stocks for myself, assuming high levels of responsibility. I have also enjoyed the opportunity of volunteering to work with the elderly as part of the xxxx Leadership Program. This experience has taught me to be more patient.
As a former undergraduate student in xxxx Business School, I was very pleased to find a module that suited my goals within my home university. I am keen on being part of the same prestigious academic environment. During my course in International Finance I have found Professor xxxx very inspiring and would consider being able to attend his graduate course in Financial Econometrics a valuable opportunity. I have also taken into consideration the extremely positive feedback that Dr. xxxx has received for his Corporate Finance course and I am looking forward to being part of his class. Overall I have developed an appreciation of xxxx and its people and particularly of the art oriented Northern xxxx and would enjoy the chance of living in an environment that I have grown so fond of over these three years.
Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to your acceptance.
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Thank you very much for your attention.
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My interest in the MSc program in Finance and Business Economics is the result of the convergence of two key aspects of my life. As a child I have many times hypothesized of myself one day running the family business. In order to pursue this goal I wish to get an accurate understanding of the market from both a financial and an economical perspective. Furthermore, I have found myself inspired by the teachings of the esteemed Dr. xxxx of xxxx University, my Corporate Budgeting professor during my year on exchange.
I am particularly interested in Mergers and Acquisitions and analyzing the Alternative Investment Market and the opportunities that this can provide both for national economic growth as well as for international corporate expansion. I have been able to develop my interests through group discussions during Trading and Investment Society meetings. I am also interested in IPO valuation and would like to broad my understanding of it. This is fueled by my interest in possibly floating the company family as a potential solution to expansion in the long-term.
I expect my average for my degree to be a 2.1 with my average for financial courses standing at 60 and that for economic courses at 68.
My bachelor degree in International Management with American Business Studies has provided me with the opportunity to develop my quantitative skills through taking a majority of my courses in Finance, Economics and Quantitative Methods. During my year on exchange I have improved my quantitative and analytical skills by taking an Operations Research and an Advanced Statistics course. Furthermore, I have improved both my knowledge of Finance as well as my organizational and analytical skills through working under high pressure during an intensive 3 weeks Advanced Corporate Finance Summer Course at xxxx.
I have worked with an experienced economist within xxxx and have done extensive market research and OLS forecasting of variables impacting company growth in order to aid her analysis. While working within the credit risk department at xxx Bank, I have been involved in both the examination of individual client applications, through financial statement analysis, as well as group risk, through portfolio monitoring. By working in teams of professionals with different background I have also been able to develop my communication and networking skills.
I am also an amateur art critic, and have always appreciated and tried to nurture innovation in both myself and in others. I am a fond player of basketball, and have been a dedicated member of a basketball team throughout university. I enjoy trading FX and stocks for myself, assuming high levels of responsibility. I have also enjoyed the opportunity of volunteering to work with the elderly as part of the xxxx Leadership Program. This experience has taught me to be more patient.
As a former undergraduate student in xxxx Business School, I was very pleased to find a module that suited my goals within my home university. I am keen on being part of the same prestigious academic environment. During my course in International Finance I have found Professor xxxx very inspiring and would consider being able to attend his graduate course in Financial Econometrics a valuable opportunity. I have also taken into consideration the extremely positive feedback that Dr. xxxx has received for his Corporate Finance course and I am looking forward to being part of his class. Overall I have developed an appreciation of xxxx and its people and particularly of the art oriented Northern xxxx and would enjoy the chance of living in an environment that I have grown so fond of over these three years.
Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to your acceptance.
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Top answer
Hi; I have made a few suggestions. My main criticism is that your letter does not have a smooth flow to it. At some places, it seems to be a bundle of bullet points rather than a polished piece of writing.
- Hi; I have made a few suggestions.
- My main criticism is that your letter does not have a smooth flow to it.
- At some places, it seems to be a bundle of bullet points rather than a polished piece of writing.
- It could be much better organized.
- Each paragraph should have a theme or major point, and there should be a satisfying concluing paragraph.
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1 Answers
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Hi;
I have made a few suggestions. My main criticism is that your letter does not have a smooth flow to it. At some places, it seems to be a bundle of bullet points rather than a polished piece of writing.
It could be much better organized. Each paragraph should have a theme or major point, and there should be a satisfying concluing paragraph.
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I have made a few suggestions. My main criticism is that your letter does not have a smooth flow to it. At some places, it seems to be a bundle of bullet points rather than a polished piece of writing.
It could be much better organized. Each paragraph should have a theme or major point, and there should be a satisfying concluing paragraph.
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