Statement of Purpose for MSc Application

Hi,
I'm going to apply for a Master of Science program in Germany. I wrote a motivation letter months ago. Now, i'm upgrading it for another application and i really need some feedback. Can you review it ? I'm waiting your precious comments.

Dear Sir or Madam,

My career ambition is to become a professional in the energy sector. I wish to pursue my education and career in the field of power engineering, not for salary reasons but rather from my desire to provide solutions for sustainable societies.

I am completing my Bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering at X University. During my undergraduate education, I have been exposed different subjects of mechanical engineering. Studying optional project courses like Applied Machine Project and Applied Heat Transfer give me the ability of deal with different problems in different subjects as a team member. But I selected Energy branch as my final year specialization field, because it fits with my goal and is related to my favorite courses, Fluid Mechanics, Thermodynamics, Renewable Energy Systems and Turbomachinery.

I was fortunate to have an exciting opportunity to develop my own project as an intern at Fluid Dynamics Department of XXXX. I designed a portable oven that can be used on gas stoves and devised two systems, which resulted in patent applications, about regulating the hot air flow inside the oven and a special fuel gas line for gas stoves that used with portable ovens. This was a great experience where I was able to combine my intelligence, creativity and knowledge with hard work in three months.

Aside from my academic life, I have participated in a variety of social activities. My adaptation, communication and organization skills are also developed through my activities like playing guitar in different rock bands as well as organizing little paintball tournaments.

Germany is one of the strongest countries and perfect place for studying engineering with its glorious engineering background. In addition, Germany’s energy policy as setting the goal of meeting half of the country’s energy demands from alternative energy and phasing out all nuclear power plants is certainly a good reason to come Germany. To observe such a revolution’s steps and development of renewable sources, I want to be in Germany while I study these subjects.

I would like to continue my study in xxxx University because of your excellent goal-oriented educational system, focus on futuristic researches and interdisciplinary studies. I am confident with my decision as the result of long investigations and speaking with students from your university and other universities in Germany.

Besides my good knowledge and interest on power generation, electric power industry also needs individual essentials. I believe a power engineer must also have point of views of an electrical engineer and an economist. To combine both my interests in learning more about power generation as well as gaining different perspectives, I want to focus on your XXX programme. I believe the XXX programme will not only strengthen my skills and enable me to develop expert knowledge, but will also give direct access to the global power industry. Moreover, by joining international communities at the xxxx University, I will gain intercultural competence.

I am confident that I will exceed your expectations, because of my academic skills and enthusiasm. I hope I will be able to enrich the programme by enabling fellow students and even professors to benefit from my ambitious and positive nature.