Statement of Purpose for Master in Finance Application - Suggestions Needed

Here is my following rough draft for my application to Masters in Finance. I have not written an essay/statement response in years so I'm definitely rusty and in need of someone to look it over and possibly make suggestions. Thanks for taking the time, it is greatly appreciated!

Have you ever sat on the bench of a team watching the action unfold? It’s not the ideal position. While not actually playing, you do get a unique perspective to understand the game’s mechanics, strategies, and importance, and how to develop to advance to your desired role. This is similar to my position in financial services as a Shareholder Service Specialist at BNY Mellon. I assist mutual fund investors, advisors, firms, analysts, and salespeople, with carrying out financial tasks. Analogous to the bench player, I now know what I need to advance my career. A Masters in Finance would provide this opportunity.

I crave an in-depth understanding of finance theory and its application to the everyday demands of finance, in preparation to enter into Asset Management. The sense of purpose that this sector offers will be nothing short of rewarding. My dad has expressed his worries about his financial future due to his lack of planning and investments. It is a scary reality many are suddenly faced with at retirement. My long-term career goal is to be a portfolio manager whose management style and investments can help to better secure economic futures. Post MSF, I will begin my career as a financial analyst examining markets and guiding investment decisions while working towards obtaining my CFA. My exposure to the investment industry has given me a clear picture and good knowledge of this career path.

At BNY Mellon, I am responsible for detailing the portfolio characteristics of over 100 mutual funds to investors and advisors, relaying fund performance and outlook information from analysts to clients, and helping investors establish and maintain accounts depending on their financial goals. I provide effective problem resolution for financial, research, and processing items. Due to my ability to execute outstanding solutions, in 2015 I received recognition for the best average quality score for the year out of both my team and department. My teamwork and leadership skills have been developed through over 2 years of training new colleagues and volunteering to operate a BNY Mellon Initiative, Life Events, dedicated to handling the financial affairs of estates. I have attended conference calls with mutual fund companies, suggesting ways to improve forms and streamline processing methods. Coupled with your University’s MSF, I am confident in transferring these qualities over to investment analysis and decision making in a buy-side firm.

My four years of undergraduate mathematics studies has equipped me with the quantitative and analytical skills necessary to thrive in this field. For instance, I applied MATLAB extensively to real-world scenarios in the course Differential Equations and Mathematical Models. For my required math research presentation, I modeled the rate of memorization through MATLAB by collecting different time frames it took for subjects to memorize lists of random numbers. I have further programming experience in C++ and Java. I am excited to apply this experience to financial modeling to find solutions to real-world investment situations that can manage risk and create higher returns. Being recognized as an exceptional mathematics student attaining academic distinction, I was selected to join the National Mathematics Honor Society of Kappu Mu Epsilon in 2012. I am ready to prove myself to your program as I did to my mathematics department.

What sets this MSF program apart is The University of Tampa’s Sykes College of Business’ commitment of delivering an excellent academic experience not only inside the classroom but outside as well. I can picture myself spending countless hours in the Huizenga Family Foundation Trading Center managing portfolio investments and engaging with students in the decision-making process. The diversity and family-like nature of the campus along with the strong student engagement in campus life and the community are especially special. Collaborating with students and faculty of various backgrounds will encourage new ideas and ways of thinking, which are critical for a successful finance career. For these reasons, The University of Tampa is my ideal MSF program. Thank you kindly for giving me your time and consideration.