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Contiluo Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Squeeze
Is the following sentence acceptable?
For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
Top answer
No. I have underlined some problem areas: For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
- No.
- I have underlined some problem areas: For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
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5 Answers
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No. I have underlined some problem areas:
For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
For me, the picture has association of a deformed globe being squeezed by human's hands to extract a drop of oil.
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(1) For me, the picture has an association of a deformed globe being squeezed by humans' hands to extract a drop of oil.
(2) However, another teacher gave me a revised sentence as written.
"The planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil."
(2) However, another teacher gave me a revised sentence as written.
"The planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil."
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#2 is fine -- certainly very natural-- but it does not say the same thing. Where is your 'picture'?
(1) For me, the picture seems like a deformed globe being squeezed by human hands to extract a drop of oil.
(1) For me, the picture seems like a deformed globe being squeezed by human hands to extract a drop of oil.
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I try to link up these sentences in to one paragraph. Is it natural?
What do you think of when you see this picture? For me, it shows that the planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil. However, it also reveals the crisis of resource depletion.
What do you think of when you see this picture? For me, it shows that the planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil. However, it also reveals the crisis of resource depletion.
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That sounds fine, but 'however' is inappropriate, since the last 2 sentences are essentially the same view.
What do you think of when you see this picture? For me, it shows that the planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil: it reveals the crisis of resource depletion.
What do you think of when you see this picture? For me, it shows that the planet is being squeezed out of shape to extract a drop of oil: it reveals the crisis of resource depletion.
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