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Gingie Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

sport.. (^^,)

1b00Sport02b02br
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00“I am happy to say, into amateur sport, which is the best and soundest thing in England”. This is what an inspired Scottish-born writer of detective fiction named Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in “The Return of Sherlock Homes”. No matter whether it is an amateur or professional sport, certainly, it benefits people all around the wide world regardless of their contrastive races and religions.02br
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00Some various types of sports are cricket, equestrian, fencing, martial arts, rugby and gymnastics and just to name a few. Despite their different names and distinctive playing techniques, these games have something in common that is the benefits it provides. One of the undoubtedly verified values of sport is we are able to ponder more clearly and subsequently improve our mood. How is this achieved? When we are playing games, our heart beats more rapidly and thus, more oxygen is sent to our brain.02br
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00Works and no plays, make Jack a dull boy. For students, it is advisable to play outdoor activities such as football on a regular basis for at least three times a week and twenty minutes for each session of exercise as it will make them be more energetic and ready for lessons and study. As well as maintaining our body in the pink of life, sport that requires team spirit such as rugby will also sow the seeds of strong amity and well-built comradeship amongst the athletes. Even the spectators who clap and shout together can feel the sense of sport spirit while watching a match and this prove that sports have a social value.02br
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00 Other values of sports are strengthening connective tissues and ameliorate blood circulation. Hence, some physical illnesses can be precluded such as heart attack and arteriosclerosis. This is very perilous as heart attack is one of the major causes of death in this global era. Meanwhile, arteriosclerosis takes place when the walls of the arteries are thickening and hardening because of the occurrence of clogs in the blood vessel as a consequence of too much cholesterol accumulates and lack of physical exercise.02br
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00 Consistent training and good eating habits combined, will aid in reducing the formation of cellulite which is often formed in postnatal women and those who conform to birth control pills because the waste system cannot get rid of the enormous flow of estrogens in the body. Therefore, what are the apposite exercises in combating cellulite? If football and rugby are not you favourite cup of tea, you can practise martial arts such as aikido, kick boxing, silat and ju-jitsu instead. It is not only has the same benefits like any other sports, it is also very fascinating and enthralling.02br
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00 It is surely true that you cannot teach old dogs new tricks. However, for those who are still reluctant to cultivate regular exercise and play sports, it is very sensible to turn over a new leaf. To put it laconically, sports and physical workouts benefit us a lot as recounted beforehand. 02br
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00(494 words)02br
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00p/s: guys..what do you think about my essay..? i know..it is not an excellent essay..so, please correct me for any mistakes that i've made..(sorry, i'm not very good in English..)0-
  

Top answer

02br 02br 00gymnastics01b 01font 00,02font 02b 00 01del 01font 00and02font 02del 00 just02br 02br 00in common01b 01font 00;02font 02b 00 that is01font 00,02font 00 the benefits 01font 00it provides 01font 00they provide [you have plural sports previously, so this must agree]02br 02br 02font 02font 00 able to 01font 00ponder02font 01font 00 ["think" is better in this context]02font 00 more clearly and subsequently improve our mood02br 02br 01font 00our heart02font 00 beats more rapidly and thus, more oxygen is sent to 01font 00our brain02font 00. 02br 02br 01font 00ameliorate02font 00 blood circulation 01font 00[this is not the right word in this context. I would suggest "improving"]02br 02br 02font 00Hence, some physical illnesses01font 00, such as heart attack and arteriosclerosis, 02font 00can be precluded.

  • 02br 02br 00gymnastics01b 01font 00,02font 02b 00 01del 01font 00and02font 02del 00 just02br 02br 00in common01b 01font 00;02font 02b 00 that is01font 00,02font 00 the benefits 01font 00it provides 01font 00they provide [you have plural sports previously, so this must agree]02br 02br 02font 02font 00 able to 01font 00ponder02font 01font 00 ["think" is better in this context]02font 00 more clearly and subsequently improve our mood02br 02br 01font 00our heart02font 00 beats more rapidly and thus, more oxygen is sent to 01font 00our brain02font 00.
  • 02br 02br 01font 00ameliorate02font 00 blood circulation 01font 00[this is not the right word in this context.
  • I would suggest "improving"]02br 02br 02font 00Hence, some physical illnesses01font 00, such as heart attack and arteriosclerosis, 02font 00can be precluded.
  • 01font 00[The following sentences are poorly constructed.
  • Try rewriting, looking carefully at logical sequence of statement.
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2 Answers
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0 The Return of Sherlock Ho01font00l02font00mes02br
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00No matter whether it is 01font01del00an 02del02font00amateur or professional 01del00sport , 02del00certainly01del00,02del00 01del01font
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1font00oh, thank you very much Feebs11!!02font02br
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01font00 frankly, i really appreciate your help..(",)02font0-

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