1) is a little more intimidating than 2). 3) is a little more intimidating than 4). 1) and 2) are more formal than 3) and 4).
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rwiles I think what's important here is the use of 'with' or 'to,' and how whether it follows 'speak' or 'talk' can determine the implied message. All 4 are grammatically correct. If you want to speak or talk with someone, you are implying that their feedback is required and it will be a 2 way conversation. You will listen to them as much as they will listen to you. If yo