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Ant_222 Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

Sounds OK?

0 Hi all, could you tell me if there're serious problems in this text?02br
02br
00 «I entered the cave. It was quite dry here. Apparently, somebody had lived here before, but now there were no traces of the former inhabitant except a terminal built into the wall deep in the cave.»02br
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00 Thanks in advance. 0-
  

Top answer

0I don't see any serious problems, Ant. The main thing I might take issue with is the use of 'the wall' rather than 'a wall'. 02br 02br 00.

— Yankee

  • 0I don't see any serious problems, Ant.
  • The main thing I might take issue with is the use of 'the wall' rather than 'a wall'.
  • 02br 02br 00.
  • 0-
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10 Answers
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0I don't see any serious problems, Ant. The main thing I might take issue with is the use of 'the wall' rather than 'a wall'. I also don't think the comma is absolutely necessary after the word 'apparently'.02br
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00. 0-
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0 Hurray!02br
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00 I did swing between "the wall" and "a wall", and my choice was decided by that that I viewed it as the same wall continuing far away into the cave. Now I see it wasn't right. Thanks. 0-
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0I'm wavering between a and the too.02br
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00I'd actually go for 'the'. 02br
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00If you use 'a' it sounds to me as though someone has built a wall - of brick or something - at the back of the cave. With 'the' it sounds more like one of the cave walls themselves (itself?). Hard to decide whether a cave has more than one wall or not as they are continu
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0Exactly. That's why I wrote that I 'might' take issue with the use of 'the'. However, I'm also sure I've seen some caves with what could be considered individual walls.0-
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0Hi,02br
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00Are you sure 'a terminal' is the correct word to use? What do you mean?02br
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00Best wishes, Clive0-
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0 OK, I am glad "the wall" is not that bad! Clive:02br
00 «Are you sure 'a terminal' is the correct word to use? What do you mean?»02br
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00 However ridiculous it mat sound... it is a terminal — an I/O (keyboard + display) device connected to a central computer! 0-
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0Hi,02br
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00I'd say 'a computer termnal', since it's a context in which you wouldn't expect such a thing.02br
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00Best wishes, Clive0-
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0The problem's that I am really short on space because every English description must be shorter or equal in length to the corresponding Russian text. Would you change your mind if I told you that a closer look at the terminal would immediately reveal its computer nature? The player should only execute "LOOK AT TERMINAL" to see the display and the keyboard.0-
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0 I see nothing wrong with using "01i00the wall02i00". It means there was one wall deep in the cave. "01i00A wall02i00" on the other hand means there was more than one wall.01blockquote
01cite10Ant_22212cite10It was quite dry 11b11font10here12font12b1
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0 Huevos:02br
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00 I have tried to presetve the original (Russian) way of narraion, which is done02br
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00 1) From the first person perspective,02br
00 2) In the past tense,02br
00 So most of the time it looks pretty much like a diary. Taking this into account, do you think your observations still appliy? 0-
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