SOP Help!

Please help..got my sop here..please critique

Once upon a time , in a land far far away , there lived a little girl who dreamt in numbers. One who realized that money did not grow on trees but rather multiplied over years when investments were made in the right places. May seem unbelievable , but it's true !
There has always been two things that I have been very passionate about , Finance and Engineering . My Dad being an Engineering Professor himself , made me realize Engineering would be a good option to begin with.This background I think will give me another dimension to understanding the financial world and all that there is to it.
High School was the first stage when I realized my penchant for finances , when given a choice between projects , I chose the one that involved shares and dividends. Then came the next project and this time around ended up choosing one on home loans. This basically set the foundation for my financial career which I am very eager to begin.
During my Engineering years , I was a part of the first editorial team at college. This helped me realize first hand what it is to work in a group environment and what it takes to get work done. Another yearly ritual I was involved in was the event management for the Orientation program that happened every year. We were a two person team who had make sure the guest who came in were taken care of and all their needs addressed apart from a whole host of other activities. This was also the period when I learnt how to face death first hand.Basically saw my Grandpa slip away before me for a year before he breathed his last at the end of 2006.This drastically affected my grades , and was a very difficult phase for me. But one thing's for sure , it made me that much stronger! There is absolutely no doubt about that.
After engineering , I worked at IBM for three years , this was one phase where I got to know what the real world was. The first time I was stepping out of my comfort zone.Within six months of joining the organization , I proved myself by successfully completing a highly complex project. I was given an award of recognition for this project. I was also a part of the team involved in reducing the Production issues of our application to its lowest in its entire history. This was another significant achievement at the account level for our application.
A Master's Degree will provide me with a lucid understanding, an in depth idea of practical approaches in aiding in managerial decision-making and research skills to enable me to develop an expertise in the core area of financial strategies and analysis.
After completing my education here , I would like to work for a few years here and then get back to my home country , where I would like to help my country's economy in my own small way. I would like to invest in micro-financing and organic farming among other things. The farmers of India are a forgotten lot and I'd like to put in my 2 cents to help.Another thing that I have been interested in is sustained wealth management. Something my father has been drilling into my head from when , I can't even remember!
The stock markets always had this charm that I found unmistakably enticing. I always wanted to know what it would be like to trade , and finally got a chance to do it once I started making my own money.In a span of 3 years , I diversified my investments from just government deposits to stocks , Mutual Funds and NCDs.I am currently looking to invest in gold ETFs as the next stage in my journey towards understanding the stock market and it's various components.
After all these years , I have finally realized my true calling. Basically anything that involves working with numbers and money and I couldn't think of a better course for that than this one! And that is the reason for me choosing this Institution.
Once I got married and came to the US , I took my time to decide what I wanted to do. Finally ended up zeroing on your course.Would love to be a part of it.
Consistent academic excellence, starting in school, continuing in college, is testimony to my hard work and commitment towards academics. My immense love for mathematics and a rigorous engineering curriculum has instilled in me sound problem solving and analytical abilities which are required to meet the rigor of this demanding program.Although it will be challenging, I am very excited about the next phase in my preparation for a career in Financial Analysis.

Thanks in advance!