SOP

I am trying to get into a good college in UK to do MSc in Finance and Accounting. I need help with my statement of purpose.

I am currently doing my B.Com [Bachelor of Commerce]. I am in my final year of the course right now.

I have always been extremely interested in understanding finance and to get an opportunity to do it in a good college will be a dream come true. I have completed 2 NCFM [ NSE's Certification in FInancial Markets] certification programs - Financial market(Beginner's module) and Securities Market. I was the Vice-President and eventually the President of the commerce forum at school. My other interests are basketball and karate. I have participated in 5 national level tournaments in karate and i won 2nd place in one national level tournament. I have an internationally recognised certificate which certifies me as a black belt.

This is what i have in mind as to what i want to do in the future. I am from India. India is still a developing country. Even though are economy is consistently improving, the effect of it is not evenly spread. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. My aim is to spread quality education. It can be among children of any age. I come from a college which has a large diversity of students. There are very few who have had quality education at school level. Their communication in english is poor, their knowledge about anything related to the subject is close to nothing, and they lack interest because they do not understand what they're taught.

I do not want to be a teacher in a school or college. I want to ensure students have QUALITY education. They should be able to communicate properly, and understand what they read, find their interests and pursue it with ambition. [ How i am planning to bring this in is by telling that finance is at the base of everything and i need to understand it so i can raise money to pursue my interest/passion].

These are my ideas. Please tell me what i can omit and how to put it across.

Regards
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