0
Osvjor Posted 13 years ago
Song Writing & Lyrics

song lyrics

Hi, I wrote a song in English. As I really don't speak
English, I would like to know what mistakes I made. I know I shouldn't have writen the song in English, but it just "came to me" like that. If anyone could help me, I would appreciate. The song is as follows:

You ask me why
Everything is colder
Even if I love you so
And as hard as I can try
It is over

You ask me why
Should you now move over
Here´s the place where you belong
I would never disagree
But it´s over

You ask me how
Can I make you suffer
Darling, I ran out of options
And also have my fears

Sadness and those bitter tears
Seem to last one million years
But I can assure you

Tears will sow one million seeds
For your happiness and well-being
I can garantee you

Even if you can not see
Our love will always be
Inside and around you

Inside and around you
Inside and around you
  

Top answer

Hello, osvjor—and welcome to English Forums. Actually, it seems quite good. I have suggested only a few tiny changes (of course, the rhythm and meter of your melody may require more): You ask me why Everything is colder Even if I love you so And as hard as I can try It is over You ask me why Should you now move over Here´s the place where you belong I would never disagree But it´s over You ask me how Can I make you suffer Darling, I ran out of options And also have my fears Sadness and those bitter tears Seem to last a million years But I can assure you Tears will sow a million seeds For your happiness and well-being I can guarantee you Even if you cannot see Our love will always be Inside and around you Inside and around you Inside and around you 'Well-being' seems out of place and out of rhythm, but you will have to decide that.

  • Hello, osvjor—and welcome to English Forums.
  • Actually, it seems quite good.
  • I have suggested only a few tiny changes (of course, the rhythm and meter of your melody may require more): You ask me why Everything is colder Even if I love you so And as hard as I can try It is over You ask me why Should you now move over Here´s the place where you belong I would never disagree But it´s over You ask me how Can I make you suffer Darling, I ran out of options And also have my fears Sadness and those bitter tears Seem to last a million years But I can assure you Tears will sow a million seeds For your happiness and well-being I can guarantee you Even if you cannot see Our love will always be Inside and around you Inside and around you Inside and around you 'Well-being' seems out of place and out of rhythm, but you will have to decide that.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

2 Answers
0
Hello, osvjor—and welcome to English Forums.

Actually, it seems quite good. I have suggested only a few tiny changes (of course, the rhythm and meter of your melody may require more):

You ask me why
Everything is colder
Even if I love you so
And as hard as I can try
It is over

You ask me why
Should you now
0
thank you very much, mr. Micawber. I am going to make the changes you suggested.

Related Questions