Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question

"Please review my essay (IELTS Task 2)"After finishing school’s curriculum, most of students must face the dilemma of whether to find a job or continue to study higher-education. While there are several benefits on start working immediately after school, I would argue that it is better to continue studying university.A large number of students make a choice to stop their education and kick-off working after finishing curriculums in school for several reasons. Firstly, yough people want to make a living as soon as possible. In this way, they will become more mature and financial independent, and they have enough ability to purchase their own house or start family. It is clear that they may reach significant milestones in their life being earlier than those who decided on continue their studies. Secondly, they have more chances to come constantly into contact with reality and develop practical skills and enrich realistic experiences related to their professions. This may lead to promotions and a successful career.However, students get more advantages from graduating from unversity. There is no denying that they are impossible to be a teacher, doctor, or scientist without academic qualifications. As a result, university graduates will have access to high-paying job opportunities. Moreover, labour-market is becoming increasingly competitive, dozens of applicants for one position in a company. Therefore, candicates with degrees for universites always leave good impressions on employers.In sum, entering university is still shorter and flatter route to gain pure knowledge and build a successful career in the future.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Phuong Thao DangAfter finishing school’s ~~curriculum~~

After finishing school or after leaving school. In North American English, it would be after graduating school.

Phuong Thao Dangmost of students must

most students must

Phuong Thao Dangor continue to ~~study~~ higher-education.

or go on to higher education.

Phuong Thao DangWhile there are several benefits on start working

While there are several benefits of starting work

Phuong Thao DangI would argue that it is better to continue studying university.

I would argue that it is better to study at college and/or university.

This is because if you are writing generally and therefore not about any particular part of the world, it is important to remember that in some countries or territories there is a stage between school and university. It can be described as college. See the introduction of the article here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College The particular term for this varies in different parts of the world.

Phuong Thao DangA large number of students make a choice to stop their education and kick-off working

This is unnatural. It would be better as start working.

Phuong Thao Dangafter finishing ~~curriculums in~~ school for several reasons.

After finishing school or after leaving school. In North American English, it would be after graduating school.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:

Topic: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

After finishing school’s curriculum, (incorrect usage. The curriculum is the complete list of subjects taught in school to get a given degree, and the order in which they are taken. Most students do not take every single course in the curriculum. It does not make sense to "finish a curriculum.") most of students (wrong usage. Use either "most students" or "most of the students") must face the dilemma of whether to find a job or continue to study higher-education. (incorrect usage. We don't study education. If you want to be a teacher, you take courses on the subject of education. ) While there are several benefits on (wrong word) start (wrong form) working immediately after school, I would argue that it is better to continue studying (missing word) university.

A large number of students make a choice to stop their education and kick-off (wrong word. This is very casual and informal. Not suitable for an academic essay.) working after finishing curriculums in school for several reasons. First, yough (??) people want to make a living as soon as possible. In this way, they will become more mature and financial (wrong form) independent, and they have enough ability to purchase their own house or start (missing word) family. ~~It is clear that~~ They may reach significant milestones in their life ~~being~~ earlier than those who decided on continue their studies. Second, they have more ~~chances~~ (a better chance, more opportunities) to come ~~constantly~~ into contact with reality (unnatural. I don't think this is your intention. Only people who live in a fantasy land or a dream world do not have contact with reality. They are usually mentally ill.) and develop practical skills and enrich realistic experiences (?? I don't know what you mean.) related to their professions. This may lead to promotions and a successful career.

However, students get more advantages from graduating from unversity. There is no denying that they are (wrong words) impossible to be a teacher, doctor, or scientist without academic qualifications. As a result, university graduates will have access to high-paying job opportunities. Moreover, (missing word) labour-market (wrong punctuation) is becoming increasingly competitive, (missing word) dozens of applicants for one position in a company. Therefore, candicates with degrees for universites always leave good impressions (I don't think this is what you mean.) on employers.

In sum, entering university is still (wrong word) shorter and flatter (wrong word) route to gain pure knowledge and build a successful career in the future.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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