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To Uyen Mai Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Some people believe that money brings happiness; others are of the opinion that having too much money is a problem.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Hi!I am practicing Ielts.Give me score If you can .This is task 2 Ielts


People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not. Many people suppose that money brings joy, whereas others believe having too much money is a problem. While there are valid arguments to the contrary, I think that money is happy resources.


On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that money brings happiness. Firstly, playing an important role in meeting one's basic needs is evident methods. Working eight to ten hour every day, people earn money which can be used to pay for housing, food, bills, health care. It also helps us provide the best possible education for one's children. Having too much money, ones can have reasonable, comfortable life and benefit from it as soon as possible. One can enjoy a vacation with one's family in summer after long exhausting working days. Ones can go shopping without think about price. Also if ones have too much money, ones can make a great contribute to society such as building schools, hospitals, helping the poor.

On the other hand, some people argue that having too much money is a problem. It threatens one's safety. Nowadays, the number of people who have become thieves are raising every day, so rich people always feel insecure because money can make the rich the target of thieves. An evident disadvantage of having too much money is to use proportionally. They feel really stressful because of making plan what they must give priority to or what are worth doing.

In spite of these arguments, I believe that money brings happiness .Firstly, not only does money meets one's basic needs, but also it improves people's standard. According to research, so many people who have become thieves because of the lack of finance. If we have so much money, we boost economic development and keep pace with anyone and countries. Having comfortable life, we always fell energetic and want to work.

In conclusion, people have different views that money brings happiness and having too much money is a problem. I personally prefer that money brings happiness
  

Top answer

I have highlighted the problem areas and also put in some minor corrections. People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not. Many people suppose that money brings joy, whereas others believe having too much money is a problem.

  • I have highlighted the problem areas and also put in some minor corrections.
  • People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not.
  • Many people suppose that money brings joy, whereas others believe having too much money is a problem.
  • While there are valid arguments to the contrary, I think that money is happy resources.
  • On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that money brings happiness.
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3 Answers
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I have highlighted the problem areas and also put in some minor corrections.


People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not. Many people suppose that money brings joy, whereas others believe having too much money is a problem. While there are valid arguments to the contrary, I think that money is happy resources.


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Can you give me correction and score?
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Why don't you try to make corrections to the highlighted text?

As you see, there are many problems of grammar and word usage, but your writing is mostly understandable, and the organization and logical flow is good.

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