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Yggg Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos game and other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How do you think problem can be tackled?

Nowadays, violence in TV has gained popularity in our daily basic. It is believed that children may be affected by the brutal scenes in some channels. This essay will proposing a lasting solution to these issues. First of all, children with lack of attention of their parents tend to addicted to TV or games. In fact, these children can not solve problems when it come up and they have nothing to deal with it. In addition, they are not able to share their problems with their parents, so they may release stress by watching or playing some violent games. This may led to violent among their behavior and the way they act. To solve this problem, both parents should raise awareness about the age rating system of media being consumed. Hence, parents should reduce their work and spend more time with their child in order to control the genres of entertainment on social media. For example, some videos on YouTube are not age rated and this may lead to some scenes are not suitable for kid. Therefore, if the age rating system is well understand by the adults, the risk of exposing children to unsuitable subjects will mitigated. Moreover, children must be reduced leisure time for the sake of them. In fact, some parents leave their child with smartphone in order to keep them quiet. That makes them passive and may lead to deviations in thinking. So, parents should spend time on hanging out or playing with them instead of letting them affected by negative information on social networks. In conclusion, all of the solution mentioned above make sense, and consequently. For my part, I believe that parents play a vital role in child maturation, so that, a possible solution is bringing information to parents about the benefits of age rating system to control children access to entertainment.
  

Top answer

Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post. htm Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line. Put it with your answer in the message body.

  • Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
  • htm Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
  • Put it with your answer in the message body.
  • Subject: Please review my IELTS essay Message body: Topic: Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos game and other types of entertainment for children's leisure.
  • How do you think problem can be tackled?
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2 Answers
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Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm


Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it

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You need to rewrite your essay in paragraphs. I have highlighted the mistakes that you should fix in your next revision.


Nowadays, violence in TV has gained popularity (Popularity means that people like it a lot. Do people like violence?) in our daily

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