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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

some one please help me with to make it better

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.



Not anybody can be make an impact on life if anybody does it has to be in some complex situations in life, someone who helps you or say something to you when you needed it. But we all should have someone in our life make a difference and become important to us. There is a person who made an impact on my life his name is Mr.Achhan.



This situation is take place in my life when I was fourteen years old and living in . We lived in a country side there are many small forests around there and many small animals live there too especially snakes some of them are very venoms but some do not even have venom. Every day I woke up at 6.00 am and get ready for a morning run it is not quite daylight yet it is kind of dark. After I get ready I will run about a half hour as a daily routine. I start to run along the edge of the road it was quiet and not enough light as I pass through a small forest all the sudden felt something cold on my feet and heard a hissing sound. Jumping off my feet and I looked down and saw something on the black road it was not moving it’s stayed still with his head up. My heart started to pound so hard, my body wouldn’t move I froze like that and I can’t believe my eyes it’s a snake, a black one. Usually the black ones are very venoms looking down on my feet I see the blood coming out from the snake bite. I looked around for help but I don’t see anybody. As I was running back home a terrible thought strike me, am I going to die?



I slam open my house door there I see my dad reading the newspaper I shout out loud “I got bitten by a snake” he run into the room take a long cloth and tied hard as he could above I got bitten. He started his bike and ride to the hospital on the way down he made a very quick stop at Mr.Achhan’s house because he know where is the hospital which is specializing on snake bite cases. Together we three rushed to the hospital Mr.Achhan was sitting behind me he tell me “don’t worry you will make it through, don’t fear”. As we reached the hospital he pick me up on his hands and run to the ICU some people are blocking his way he shout out loud this is an emergency move. The nursed and doctors rushed into the ICU taking my blood samples and checking the bite spot. Luckily I was not poisoned I don’t know why the doctor say it may not a venoms snake or it didn’t pump its venom into me.



After one day in hospital they did let me go home. But I never forget the situation I was in when the snake bite me and the effort Mr.Achhan took to save me. He was a good man. If I was poisoned his effort get me to the hospital with my dad is the key that save my life. This is why this person is important to me even though I was not poisoned.
  

Top answer

Lots of run-on sentences. You need to start with simpler sentences. For example: Anonymous Not everyone can be make an impact on our lives.

  • Lots of run-on sentences.
  • You need to start with simpler sentences.
  • For example: Anonymous Not everyone can be make an impact on our lives.
  • us if anybody does it has to be in some complex situations in life, someone who helps you or say something to you when you needed it.
  • But W e all should have someone in our life who become important to us because they help us out when we need them .
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1 Answers
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Lots of run-on sentences. You need to start with simpler sentences.

For example:
AnonymousNot everyone can be make an impact on our lives. us if anybody does it has to be in some complex situations in life, someone who helps you or say something to you when you needed it. But We

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