Some jokes I'm working on.

Question

- Every year America losses the competitive hot dog eating championship to a skinny Chinese guy. I think the problem is the people we send to compete. We should send Paris Hilton. It is a lot easier to eat hot dogs when you don't have to chew.

- Bush seems like we shaved a monkey and taught him how to speak.... almost. It's not that I don't like the Bush family, I just wish they had a curse like the Kennedeys.

Orior · Accepted Answer

Please, for the love of ***, don't, I repeat, don't give up your day job.

Anonymous · Answer

________ felt ________ until I __________ at __________ of the _________ you ___________. How _______ it __________to ______________ your ___________ from a _____________________? You ___________ the __________ ____________ to _____________ to _____________ _____________ Larry _____________ _______________ _______________. You ______________ ________________ comedy. _____________ should have _______________ an _________________.

Edited by Mod. due to being potentially offensive.

Orior · Answer

This is a joke.

A man on his death bed, calls his wife over and says to her "When I die, will you please marry Tommy McCourt"

The wife asks "But I thought you hated Tommy McCourt?"

"I do" replies the man.

Eargasms · Answer

I'm with Orior on this one, the whole point of a joke is that it should be funny, yours reminded me of something....................................... Toothache !!!!

Don't give up the day job !!

Anonymous · Answer

It sucks when stupid people get together. I'm sorry my jokes didn't have a predictable setup and punchline followed by a rimshot.

Anonymous · Answer

I think I was a little bit too tough on you guys. I don't think I made the jokes clear enough.

The fist joke is making fun of Paris Hilton. It is saying she would not have to chew the hot dogs because she could d****p throat (don't know if I can use that word on these forums) them to her stomach.

I didn't write the second joke clear enough. It should be:

- George W. Bush sounds like we shaved a monkey and taught him how to speak.... almost. It's not that I don't like the Bush family, I just wish they had a curse like the Kennedys.

The first sentence is obvious. The second part is a joke about the Kennedy curse. The joke being that the Kennedys die faster than the kids on the Final Destination movies. It is a little bit strange Ted Kennedy is alive because I thought he would have been the first one to go. He drinks every night and has a tendency to run off bridges, but he is still alive. He's like the Mr. Magoo of the Kennedy family.

I hope that makes things clear.

Bye!!!

BarbaraPA · Answer

Yeah... uh... people who don't like Bush tend to like the Kennedys, so that wouldn't go over very well. Not a lot of humor in people being assassinated, I think.

I didn't get the Paris Hilton one at all.

Simplyblessedwithlove · Answer

DFeltonIt sucks when stupid people get together. I'm sorry my jokes didn't have a predictable setup and punchline followed by a rimshot.

It's totally ignorant to call people "stupid" because they didn't understand your jokes. I mean, what's there to understand or laugh about? I'm cool with inappropriate jokes, but I would laugh if that person knows how to deliver them. You DONT!!!!!!

Orior · Answer

Ah dear DFelton,

You obviously did not get the humour in my initial response to your first post. In fact you took it completely the wrong way, which in fact is funny! When someone says to you "dont give up your day job" its usually meant as a joke, and a kind of pat on the back for trying, but its not meant as a serious statement.

Also, I dont normally add smilies to jokes, I prefer to let the words do the talking, if that makes sense

So, chill out man! But dont give up your day job.

Anonymous · Answer

Hey simplyblessedwithlove, I already apologized when I said, "I think I was a little too tough on you guys." I was just a little mad because it seemed like Orion was trying to insult me instead of giving me some constructive criticism. Thank you for your feedback Grammar Geek. I think most people would be able to appreciate the joke even if it was about someone they liked. For examle, I read a bumper sticker that said, "unlike Ted Kennedy's car, my gun has never killed anybody." I like Ted Kennedy and I am for gun control, but I appreciated the joke. A lot of stand-up comedians have made jokes about assasinations.

Some jokes I'm working on.

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