Social status, possessions and old-fashoined values

Question

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today, people often make a comment about a person basing on how high his social scale is and how much matter he has, whereas his personalities do not seem crucial. From my perspectives, while I advocate them judging others through their classes in society and personal property, I still recognize people’s emphasizing behavioral values.

First and foremost, it is extremely commonplace for one to be judged by his social status and possessions, because should he have numerous villas, cars and do jobs with a high salary, he is of course the person who is exceptional and talented. For example, in my country which is Vietnam, there has been a convention for long that individuals who are in the high scales in society such as doctors, teachers and scientists are considered to be worth being respected more than street vendors and cleaners because of their jobs.

As reasonable this thought is; however, I still perceive that humans today do put morality into the first priority when it comes to commenting a person. It seems to me that no matter how much money a person has, he is still trash in people’s eyes if he does not behave others politely and well and he therefore will have no friends and success in his life. Take the students in my secondary school as an example. Some students there, including me, who are always tender-hearted, graceful, outgoing and humorous tend to be beloved by teachers and other students, regardless of their poverty or ages. Nevertheless, there are several students, mostly coming from wealthy families who are arrogant, sketchy and fool-mouthed are not treated nicely, and I believe since they have been used to being pampered by their parents, they do not learn any moral lesson at all.

On the whole, I am of the opinion that however crucial one’s property and social scale are, his qualities are equally significant.

Thank you for reading my essay!!!!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Today, people often make a comment (You missed the focal point of this essay. "Judge" means "regard" or "deem". Make a comment is a one-time occurrence, whereas "judge" is a lasting opinion.) about a person basing (wrong verb form) on how high his social scale (not a good phrase) is and how much matter (wrong word) he has, whereas his personalities (Wrong form. One of the more common psychological disorders, which requires therapy, is"https://www.healthline.com/health/dissociative-identity-disorder". The essay is not about people with this problem.) do not seem crucial. From my perspectives, (wrong form) while I advocate them judging others through their classes in society and personal property, I still recognize people’s emphasizing behavioral values.

You did not answer the essay prompt. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A clear answer (valued by examiners) would contain an adverb of extent. Here is an incomplete list: totally, completely, wholeheartedly, somewhat, partly, partially, with reservations, without reservation, and slightly.

Here is an example thesis statement: (reluctantly is similar to "with reservations")

 I reluctantly have to agree with this opinion, based on an introspection into my own personal attitudes and what I have observed in my extended family, my Facebook friends and my peer group.

Also, you missed the contrast between what people think today, and what people of the older generation thought. The key word is "old-fashioned." You will lose a lot of points for "task completion" in this first paragraph

Example opening

These days, people seem to hold in highest regard those with a lot of wealth and high social status. They ignore people who are prominent, but who keep a low profile, being generous, honorable, kind, and gracious. So I reluctantly have to agree with this opinion, based on an introspection into my own personal attitudes and what I have observed in my extended family, my Facebook friends and my peer group.

First and foremost, it is extremely commonplace for one to be judged by his social status and possessions, because should he have numerous villas, cars and do jobs (A person cannot have a "do job". That does not make any sense.) with a high salary, (comma splice error) he is of course a ~~the~~ person who is exceptional and talented. (Well, not necessarily. The children of a multi-billionaire can be endowed with tons of money and yet be as ignorant and unexceptionable as any dullard.) For example, in my country, ~~which is~~ Vietnam, there has been a convention for a long time ~~long~~ that individuals who are in the high scales (wrong word) in the highest echelons of society ) in society such as doctors, teachers and scientists are considered to be worth being respected more than street vendors and cleaners because of their jobs.

As reasonable this thought is; (wrong punctuation. This is not a main clause.) however, I still perceive that humans today do put morality into the first priority when it comes to commenting (wrong word) a person. It seems to me that no matter how much money a person has, he is still trash in people’s eyes if he does not behave (wrong word) others politely and well and he therefore will have no friends and success in his life. Take the students in my secondary school as an example. Some students there, including me, who are always tender-hearted, (one word, a compound adjective) graceful, outgoing and humorous tend (missing punctuation) to be beloved by teachers and other students, regardless of their poverty or ages. (wrong form, also, age is not in the essay topic.) Nevertheless, there are several students, mostly coming from wealthy families who (missing punctuation) are arrogant, sketchy (wrong word) and fool-mouthed (wrong word) are not treated nicely, and I believe since they have been used to being pampered by their parents, they do not learn any moral lesson at all.

On the whole, I am of the opinion that however crucial (wrong word) one’s property and social scale (wrong word) are, his personal qualities are equally significant. You did not answer the essay accurately. It was not asking about how you personally should value other people, but in the current age, how other people do.)

Social status, possessions and old-fashoined values

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