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Contiluo Posted 13 years ago
Vocabulary

social abuses

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks.

For one thing, we are losing the virtue of paragon. The traditional values of virtuous deed and invaluable advice have been crumbled. Consequently, the society sinks into chaos and disorder. The people can’t live in peace and enjoy their work. There is a strong demand to reform social abuses.
  

Top answer

Sorry, you lost me in the first sentence. What does 'the virtue of paragon' mean? Can you try to say in another way?

— Clive

  • Sorry, you lost me in the first sentence.
  • What does 'the virtue of paragon' mean?
  • Can you try to say in another way?
  • Clive
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10 Answers
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Sorry, you lost me in the first sentence. What does 'the virtue of paragon' mean?

Can you try to say in another way?

Clive
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... Our society is seriously sick, and we can’t be blind to the gravity of the illness. For one thing, we are losing the role model of the virtues. The traditional values of virtuous deed and invaluable advice have been crumbled. Consequently, the society sinks into chaos and disorder. The people can’t live in peace and enjoy their work. There is a strong demand to reform social abuses.
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Your text is not really wrong. However, it sounds awkward and not natural.

I'll just comment on a few things.

In a serious text, do not use contractions (eg can't)

deeds

I wouldn't cal
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CliveWhat does 'the virtue of paragon' mean?
I am only familiar with 'paragon of virtue',

http://www.dictionarist.com/paragon+of+virtue
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Our society is seriously sick, and we can not be blind to the gravity fo the illness. For one thing, we are losing the paragon of virtue. The traditional values of virtuous deeds and wise saying have crumbled. Consequently, society is sinking into chaos and disorder. People can’t live in peace and enjoy their work. There is a strong demand to reform social abuses. Next, .
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The phrase 'paragon of virtue' is almost exclusively used to describe a person., ie Tom is a paragon of virtue.

I don't understand how 'wise saying' can be a value. Say it another way.

Don't say can't.

Clive
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For one thing, we are losing the pattern of virtue. The traditional values of virtuous deeds and upright words have crumbled. Consequently, society is sinking into chaos and disorder. People can not live in peace and enjoy their work. There is a strong demand to reform social abuses.
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Much, much better.

The sentence linking deeds and words seems to me a little weak, because in my culture 'deeds' are considered a lot more important than words.
Do you know this saying? Actions speak louder than words.

Clive
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For one thing, we are losing the pattern of virtue. The traditional values of virtuous deeds and upright words have crumbled. Consequently, society is sinking into chaos and disorder. People can not live in peace and enjoy their work. There is a strong demand to reform social abuses.

The underlined sentence is rewritten as following. Are they acceptable in you
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1 is better than 2, in my opinion.

I suggest The traditional values of virtue and morality have crumbled.
Values are commonly spoken of in abstract terms.

Clive
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